VforVadge

Hey guys – if you’re tuning in from my previous post, you heard me discussing my first time trying anal sex. Yes, this is a taboo topic, but I want to make sure my Vadgesters are out there exploring in the safest ways possible. Here are my tips for a more comfortable anal experience.

1. Relax. 

The worst thing you can do while attempting anal intercourse is tense up. The anal sphincter is an involuntary muscle that is designed for exit (not entry), so it requires relaxation for enjoyment. Breathe in deep through your nose, exhale deeply through your mouth. All the air should make your stomach expand and contract as you breathe (from your diaphragm), and you’ll notice your butt loosen up a bit.

2. Use Condoms

Condoms have their own lubricant, so adding a water based lube to that can help eliminate the friction that can be caused from skin to skin contact. The anus does not produce its own wetness quite as the vagina does, so consider a condom for extra help.  Also, if you happen to have an “accident,” It makes for easier cleanup and less awkward moments with your partner.

3. Lube, lube, lube!!

Just like your engine can’t run smoothly without oil, neither can your anus. A water-based lubricant used in conjunction with a condom will definitely do the trick. If you choose a silicone-based lube, it will not work with condoms as it breaks down the material and may break.

4. Enema of the State

I just needed to use that title. Taking an enema an hour before anal sex is a great way to make sure you avoid my horror story. Enemas work by flushing out the rectal cavity of any excrement (poop) that may still be sitting around. Be sure to follow the directions on the box before using.

**Bonus**: Try getting used to anal penetration with an anal plug/gauge.

I hope these tips help you on your exploration journey in the bedroom. Feel free to search “anal” for any other related stories and posts that I’ve written on the topic. As usual, if you have any questions – I’m always available at vforvadge@gmail.com.

I was reading my daily intake of the news and came across an article that piqued my interest. Toys R Us features an anatomically correct male doll in their inventory, and some parents are up in arms about it. I had to scratch my head and wonder.

Are humans not anatomically correct? We each are born with genitals and sexual organs, unless genetic defects say otherwise – right? Why then, would a parent be upset that a doll that is marketed as a realistic baby has genitalia? Is this some sort of modesty issue? The doll still comes with a diaper and baby clothes, it’s not donning a pair of Speedos or a bikini.

These are the issues that make sex education a tricky job. Parents often spend too much time worrying about over sexualizing their children, and neglect to remember that a part of growing up is self-actualization. Eventually that baby you birthed grows into a child, then teen, then adult. Unless he/she joins a seminary, he or she will eventually have sex. Even before that, the child has to make bowel movements and urinate – all of which comes out of the genitals.

Right?

As a parent myself, I understand the fear of exposing children to sex too early, but there are ways to educate them as they grow. Don’t be afraid to talk about the penis and vagina. We all need them to function in life. I have compiled a short list of things parents can do to conquer this fear and grow with their children.

5 Ways to Cope with Anatomically Correct Dolls:

1. Explain circumcision to male children

2. Describe the parts of the body

3. Set the standard for “No Touch Zones”

4. Talk about the birds and the bees

5. Show the difference between boys and girls

My mother talked about vaginas and penises to me. As we’d shower together, she told me what my vagina did. Not ever in my life did I think my vagina was a nondescript, androgynous lump as I had seen on some dolls. My Baby Alive doll had real genitals; I learned how to clean a baby and make sure she didn’t have poop in her special place. All children deserve to be equipped for the future, and it starts with the babies in more ways than one.

See the Doll – is it really that bad?

Do you think dolls should be anatomically correct? Weigh in! 

Resources:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41tknnPjyFL._SY300_.jpg

http://www.today.com/parents/doll-penis-shocks-some-parents-1D80005572

http://www.toysrus.com/graphics/product_images/pTRU1-16811795dt.jpg

“Hey there! I have a question for your site, but I dunno – I don’t want to offend anyone. My son was watching Real Housewives of Atlanta with me and wanted to know why the guy was wearing high heels and makeup. How do you explain something like that? As well as the homosexual thing. I was so stuck when he asked!”

This can be a tricky discussion, depending on the level of intuitiveness that your child has. I will do my best to keep the explanation on a broad spectrum, in an attempt to cover (without actually discussing) various reasons why a man would be wearing heels.- Kimi 

Please keep in mind, homosexuality and cross dressing do not have to correlate. A man can identify as heterosexual, but still enjoy wearing women’s clothes in various levels. We’ll touch on that later.

First, when we are teaching children about cultural and identity differences, we must be careful not to include any biases we may have as adults. Children are not born with prejudice for or against any group of individuals, those behaviors are taught or learned. 

I consulted with our resident LGBT writer, Charlie for better insight. Her verbiage is awesome…

It is important to let kids know that people wear all kinds of clothing, so not bringing up specific words like homosexual, trans etc. will help negate much deeper and possibly confusing conversation for the child. 

If talking about sexuality its important, feel free to point out that it is just the same as they like whoever he/she may like or crush on (if they are at that stage). Everyone has a preference, and the individual in question happens to like someone of the same gender. 

Keeping a general base such as that helps the child to have a reference point when asking questions that start with Why. Understand that talking about these topics will prepare him as he gets older. He’ll understand or accept people more readily if he knows that it’s okay to be different.

For more references, please visit the links I’ve chosen below. They are not affiliated with VForVadge.com, but they provided me with great insight and facts:

Gender Centre

GLBTQ

Go Ask Alice! (Columbia University) 

Cover Photo via – Leland Bobbe

Why Situationships Never Work…

Okay, peep the scenario.

You have a person you really dig and want to date. That person digs you too, but isn’t looking to settle down just yet. In an effort to meet in the middle, you two agree to be friends with benefits. After coitus (sex), you go to your respective homes and carry on with your days/nights.

Sounds good so far, right?

So. You guys do this for a while. Sometimes, you pack an overnight bag so you can head to work in the morning. Months pass, you’ve even got a toothbrush you “forgot” at his place. Keep in mind, nothing is official yet; you guys are just friends with benefits. You don’t see him for a couple of days, and eventually find out he’s been going out with someone. Hurt, you pick up the phone to call him, but you remember that he’s not your boyfriend. Instead, you decide to go on a date with that cute guy that gave you his number last week. Once your FWB catches wind of this, he proceeds to tell you that having sex with anyone else is not part of the rules. Ask him if he slept with the young lady he went out with the other day.

Go ahead, ask him.

Tricky, right?

The problem with Situationships is that there’s no exclusivity. You get lured in by the prospect of sex without commitment and forget to read the fine print. The Friend With Benefits may not be comfortable with you sharing your vadge with another man, because of a plethora of reasons. He, however, may be engaging in sexual activity with other women because of the aforementioned exclusivity clause.

So, what do you do?

You’re now torn between the man you want and the potential man you deserve. This conundrum is what I call “clogging your blessings.” They can’t flow freely because the FWB is blocking in both directions. You have a tough decision to make. After spending so much time with this “friend,” you now feel like you’ll be leaving something that could grow into a full-blown relationship. The other men pursuing you could very well treat you much better, though. Unfortunately, the fairy tale usually stops there. If said friend has not made a move to check out the next level, chances are he’s not ready or interested. That leaves you, the hopeless romantic, unsure and technically single.

What Happens Next?    

This may be a good time to think about whether your beau is what Solange calls “T.O.N.Y.” – read the symptoms here…

Someone walked up and asked me this question, and the answer may vary for other women. I did, however screen this young lady for the usual suspects before coming to my conclusion.

1. Be sure to see an OB/GYN

If this is an ongoing issue, you definitely need the assessment of a medical professional before proceeding. He/she can screen you for various STDs, STI’s and vaginal infections such as Bacterial Vaginosis. Once you rule this very important factor out, it is easier to proceed and find a solution to your discomfort.

2. Your Ph may be unbalanced

After ruling out infection, this sounds like the real and true answer, and there are quite a few ways to balance the pH. The vagina’s flora are very sensitive, and factors such as what you do for a living every day may play a major part in your daily pH. If you sit in an office chair a lot, moisture may build up in the nether region. If you work in a high-intensity environment, rigorous activity and sweat may cause your pH to start acting up. For solutions to balancing your pH, read here and here.

Natural Solutions to Balance your pH

3. Wear panty liners 

While you pinpoint the problem, wearing panty liners during the day is a great way to absorb the moisture you experience from vaginal wetness. This will help avoid further irritation and possible yeast infections caused by excessive moisture. No matter if you’re very physically active or if you sit in an office during the day, vaginas need space to breathe. Panty liners create a gap between your vagina and the underwear/clothes that covers it.

4. Go Commando in Bed

The best time to get ventilation without all the extra stuff is at bed time. Try slipping into a pair of cotton shorts or pajama pants before bed and let your vadge air out.

5. Don’t Add Anything

Until you get recommendations from a licensed physician – do not put anything on your vagina. No vaginal powders or creams will help you if they’re not solving your individual problem.

Learn More about Your Vadge Here 

Have more questions? Follow me on Instagram @Kimi_LeVadge, Twitter @KimiLeVadge or Like the Vadge on Facebook!

Resources: 

Doctors Lounge

MedHelp.Org

(Continued from “Quickie Pt. 1”)

Thankfully, the janitor’s interruption was brief…He left something the office, grumbled something about “hating these muthafuckas” and closed the door…

I was able to resume my self-pleasure, trying to find the grove I was in before being so rudely interrupted. I began gently pulling and kneading my nipples, and sure enough, the familiar feeling of arousal returned. First the left, then the right, as they engorge with blood and become insanely sensitive to my touch…

My mind begins to slip into the “pleasure state” as I massage my pussy lips with my bullet. The low-frequency hum against my vulva causes my legs to slowly drift open as I cross my ankles. “mmmmmmm…” I moan, as I move my bullet closer to my clit. It brushes against my now plump, pink button and I reflexively sigh, as I slip deeper into the trance of sensual touch, cool steel to warm skin.

Finally, I’m wet enough to hydroplane a tire…My pussy is almost dripping, copious amount of my love running down my leg…I think in a passing way about the wet spot I’ll have on my skirt. But the thought passes quickly. inside me goes my bullet…I shake, my head thrown back so hard, I bang it on the underside of my desk. The contact arouses me further, as I arch my back to accept the toy deeper into my now clenching pussy…”Ohhh God…” I moan as my hips begin their dance, grinding and rolling as thrust the bullet inside me and pull it back just as quickly. I’m on autopilot now, body responding primally as my moans become sharper, louder, interspersed with curses. My nails dig into the commercial grade carpet and bend as the muscle contractions come faster, faster and harder…Oh God…I’ve totally forgotten where I am, the time, everything but this feeling…I’m about to fall over the edge. And I want it.

…what I didn’t notice as my orgasm built into a runaway train I didn’t dare stop was his entrance into the office…

To Be Continued…

“Quickie…”

The office hums with silence as the last employee leaves.

Proposals due, quality monitoring; all of it becomes a blur after 5 o’clock.

I kick my purse back under the desk; ‘not leaving here anytime soon.’ My speedy bag buzzes lightly, and I realize I forgot to call home.

As I reach for my phone, my hand embraces the smooth surface of – my vibrator? It must have fallen in while I rushed for work. I look around my empty office. Welp…

I crawl under my big oak desk and pull my panties to the side. Clicking my bullet like an executive pen, I let it glide slowly over my clit.

The moan I let out startles me, and I look around as if someone’s going to hear me. Yes, I’m still alone here. My head leans back and I instinctively rub my nipples through my lace bra.

Two minutes in and my knees are already quivering. As I get into it, I slip the bullet inside of me and shudder as an orgasm begins to rush through me.

My toes curl inside my leather pumps, nipples harden as I bite my lip and groan. “Mmmmmhhhh!!” Is all I could let out before the office door flew violently open.

Oh shit, the janitor!

Keep Reading – “Quickie Pt.2”

Sometimes in the midst of shopping, we forget to pay attention to what we’re buying. Choosing a good quality toy is no different. Whether it cost $10 or $100, we all need to be aware of the ingredients and materials in the intimacy items, body care and adult toys that we buy. Today, we’re talking about that word you’re not sure on pronouncing; “pthalates.”

What Are Pthalates? 

Pronounced “thalates,” they are a group of chemicals used to soften and increase flexibility in plastic and vinyl.

“Phthalates are also used in wood finishes, detergents, adhesives, plastic plumbing pipes, lubricants, medical tubing and fluid bags, solvents, insecticides, medical devices, building materials, and vinyl flooring.”

You can find pthalates in quite a few body care items on store shelves today, many of which are household staples that we all love.

What’s Wrong With Pthalates? 

For now, the verdict is still out on the effects from exposure to low levels of pthalates as the answer is still not fully known. Some pthalates in lab studies have affected the reproductive systems of laboratory animals. We’re talking about sex toys here, who really wants problems with his/her reproductive system? I’ve also read that it may be linked to birth defects  in children. While minimal amounts may not be harmful, It’s definitely cause for concern.

What can I do? 

While shopping, check the label or product description and make sure it says “pthalate free.” This ensures that you are keeping yourself well informed and safe. As a consumer, you have the buying power to chose what’s in your best health interest, choosing sex toys is no different.

Resources: 

http://www.breastcancerfund.org/clear-science/radiation-chemicals-and-breast-cancer/phthalates.html

http://toxtown.nlm.nih.gov/text_version/chemicals.php?id=24

http://www.cdc.gov/biomonitoring/phthalates_factsheet.html