Sex Education for the Real World…


“T.O.N.Y.,” What Solange’s Song Was Trying to Tell You…

Posted May 23, 2014 by Kimani in Love. Life. Erotica.

In lieu of the elevator aftermath with Solange and Jay-Z; SolAngel’s song “T.O.N.Y.” has been stuck on repeat for days. It took on a new life in my playlist, because I see so mmany women having the Tony experience. Let’s talk about it, shall we?


You know the guy; the one you know is bad for you but you can’t seem too let go. “He’s got so much potential,” “he’ll grow out of the player ways,” “I love him.” Things we’ve all said before; you love him but are you really in love with him? Is there something real that’s making you stay? Sometimes, we get blinded by characteristics I like to call,”Decepticons.” Nice car, money in his pocket, cute face, good sex and women in pursuit. These things in combination can build a weapon of mass destruction. I mean, why wouldn’t you want the guy everyone wants – right? He may look like a package deal, but is he the only one getting benefits?

“Still, he wasn’t just some regular guy. Tony’s actually The Other Night, oh whY? I could’ve been in love by now – if it wasn’t for TO.N.Y….”

When you start to get out of the dumbfounded stage, you may pick up on some traits that concern you. Lean into your female instinct. If he doesn’t call as much as he should or use to take note. Not making you feel special anymore? Red flag. If time passes and he’s not expressing interest and commitment, run. It takes two weeks to create a habit, so if three, four, five months have passed without progression – chances are he’s not that into you. Have you met his family? What does his house look like? If you have no answer for these basic questions, ┬áit’s time for a re-evaluation. What’s the point of being with someone if you still feel single?


In this day and age, there’s no excuse to sell yourself short. Open a dialogue with your Tony, and put the bug in his ear. You’re concerned about the potential future and want to know if he sees one with you. If the answer sounds sketchy, you know exactly what to do.

There are enough single men on this earth who are looking for a great woman. Consider yourself like shelf liquor; it is the hardest to afford, because it took more time to craft. Don’t put yourself on tap for a Tony to drink up all your resources for free. You are of much higher value than that.

In the self-help book “Don’t Be a Dumb Bitch,” author Ayana Ellis discusses the popular disorders called “Dickmatization” (hypnotism from good sex) and “Lackadickaphobia (desperation from lack of sex).” Both of which can shape the kind of men we attract…

“A Predator can always tell when a woman is suffering from Lackadickaphobia. We are so thirsty and don’t even realize it. We leave food in the microwave and the key under the mat for this dude.”

Read More of Don’t Be a Dumb Bitch here:

Essentially, we as women often make it easy for men to take advantage. Now’s the time while youre still “single” or in the “complicated” stage to cut your losses and move on. Great investors know what a bad move looks like, and they’re not afraid to back out. Investing your heart and time, and body require the same thought process.

So, before you get caught up, listen to Solange. If he’s sounding like a T.O.N.Y., skip to the next song.

T.O.N.Y. Cover

About the Author


A NY transplant in Florida, Kimani has taken on the task of educating the world on sexual health and education. The Mount Vernon native has seen AIDS and HIV spread through her community like wildfire, and hopes to cease the transmission of these and other diseases one person at a time. If you know better, you're inclined to do better.

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