From the Writer’s Desk: Guys, I’ll let you in on a big secret; this is a very popular topic among women. So many times, males think that because a technique worked on one woman, it will do the same for another. That is false information. Many women don’t believe they can achieve orgasm from clitoral stimulation, but it’s quite possible that their guy just wasn’t following the rules. Check these tips out and try them at home with caution.

– Nuff Love,

Kimi

P.S. – Never use teeth. Ever! 

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Sex Tips: Clitoral Stimulation

The clitoris is not a bull’s-eye, power switch, or launch button. “You can’t just go for the gold,” says Rebecca Chalker, author of The Clitoral Truth. “You might short-circuit her body’s elaborate arousal process.” Your step-by-step guide to treating her right starts by taking it slow.

1. EASE INTO IT “The nerve-packed tip of the clitoris is sensitive at first,” says Chalker. “But just above the clitoral tip lies a short shaft—a genetic cousin to your penis—that can help her warm up.”

Try this After some foreplay, stimulate this inner shaft. Push down on her lower abdomen with your outstretched fingers, massaging the skin on either side of her vagina in a scissors motion, causing the skin of her inner labia to caress the shaft.

Clitoris extra credit  “Don’t Reach for My Clitoris”

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2. MOVE TO THE MIDDLE Gradually tease inward with your fingers, occasionally brushing against and lubricating the clitoral hood and the length of her inner lips in a light up-and-down motion.

Try this Position yourself between her legs and use your palm to cover her vulva, keeping your fingers stretched over her pubic mound (as if you were palming a basketball). Use her lips to gently tease the clitoris.

3. BE DIRECT On the brink of orgasm, a symphony of muscles and ligaments pulls the clitoral tip back under its hood. “It’s a good sign,” says Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., the Men’s Health “Sex Professor.”

Try this If she’s comfortable with direct stimulation, replace your palm with two fingers on the tip of her clitoris. “Once she’s fully aroused, she’s just as eager and hungry as you are,” says Susie Bright, editor of the Best American Erotica series. Start light and increase pressure until you find her sweet spot.

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Clitoris extra credit Give Her a Blended Orgasm with 5 Techniques to Target the Clitoris and G-Spot

4. DO AN INSIDE JOB If direct touch is too much, stimulate the inner labia.

Try this Use your fingers or a toy to stimulate the buried “legs” of her clitoris, which run up into her vaginal wall like a wishbone at 10 o’clock and 2 o’clock. “Just before orgasm, look for contractions around her vagina and lower abdomen,” says Herbenick.

5. PUT IT ALL TOGETHER A woman’s blood flows freely through her tissues after orgasm, making repeat performances easier.

Try this From behind, angle your penis down at the vaginal wall. In the missionary position, keep pressure on her most sensitive spot with your lower abdomen by tipping your hips forward.

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Sources: 

Mens Health

How to Eliminate Your Gag Reflex

What seems like the stuff of legend can now be yours! As we’ve discussed on a previous post, porn stars make certain sexual acts seem so effortless. Take for example, their lack of gag reflex. How many times have you tilted your head in amazement wondering how they get it all in there? Not to worry, I have a solution that may solve your gagging woes and get rid of the gag reflex whenever you want.

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I’d like to add that these remedies can serve other, non-sexual purposes. If you have trouble brushing your tongue in the morning,  or have a sensitive palate – keep reading. While gagging may seem like a dirty word, it happens outside of the bedroom quite often. Regardless of this fact, there are many people looking to solve the issue in order to become a more intricate (and seemingly experienced) partner.

Read “What to Expect When He’s Expecting” for more on the act of fellatio.

When learning the act of fellatio,  one of the biggest obstacles is overcoming the fear of puking. Gagging is a natural reflex designed to prevent animals from choking on food or foreign objects. Your throat has no idea that you’re enjoying yourself (it actually thinks you’re dying!) Sure, you can use mints and sprays, but those are tricks for the pros. Not only does it shut down your urge to gag, it may cause you to choke if you eat or drink shortly after. Throat numbing is a great idea, but definitely not for starters.

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Let’s start with the basics. If you’re new to this, don’t attempt to stunt like Lethal Lippz or old school Jenna Jameson. Take it easy. You may find that your gag reflex triggers simply because you’re taking on more than you can chew. When you feel like you may gag, stop. Before you continue, do this…

Yes, the secret to stopping your gag reflex is a tightly balled fist. How does it work? Simple physiology. A 2008 study from the American Dental Association shows that a pressure point in the palm suppresses the urge to choke.

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Hum.

Distracting your Throat by humming may deactivate the involuntary reflex that

Causes you to gag. It also creates a nice sensation for your partner.

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Try Table Salt

Put a dab of table salt on your tongue; the receptors responsible for the gag reflex are temporarily numbed. Gargling with salt water is another alternative.

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Need a long-term solution? Try numbing mints!

Resources:

Wikihow.com

How can I prevent gagging in the dentist’s chair?

I’d like to introduce you to our newest guest writer, who will remain shrouded in secrecy.  He’s introducing us to a world of fetish, which may be new to some readers. I have a feeling this is going to be sensational…

 Check out our previous Vadge Confessionals here…

Interview With the Super Endowed…

With the average penis size at 5.1 inches erect, men all over the world are trying everything to measure up. It seems almost absurd to wonder if any men worry about being too big. Today, I invite you to enter the world of a gentleman we’ll simply call “A.” He is what the world would consider far above average. I have interviewed him candidly to delve into the secret society of very endowed men, and to give you a quick peek inside his world.

Kimi: What is your current measurement?

• A: Officially, 11.625 (inches)

At what age did you realize you were above average in penis size?

• – Second marking period, health glass in the 10th grade… So a little after my 16th birthday.  Dr. Kline spoke about the average size of an erect man and I laughed to the point of tears.

Are your partners ever intimidated by this gift?

• – Most have a reaction, positive or negative. Intimidation can be one of those reactions.  I’ve also had an experience with a woman who was underwhelmed.  She didn’t want any partners that weren’t at least 12″ and refused to be intimate with me.

Do you disclose this before intercourse, or do you allow the individual to discover it?

• – Tricky question.  It depends on the woman and how I met them.  I suppose it depends on my mindset, too.  There’s a time where I felt that all I had to offer was my size so I sought out women that would respond positively to it (aka size queens).  As I grew out of that phase, I wanted women to like me for who I was as a person so I concealed it for as long as I could.

Is there a downside to being extra endowed?

• – I call it “the side show effect.”  Being objectified (when I don’t want to be, that is) sucks.  It becomes a turn off actually.  Being listed in someone’s phone as your measurements is a major turn off…

 Any bonuses to an extra large penis?

• – When I was more vindictive/younger/more carefree about how I was received, I used sex as a weapon.  I’d be a liar if I didn’t use my size to get something or take advantage of a situation.  That’s the power of negative attention…

If you could go back 5 years, what would you change about your sex life?

• – 5 years? Probably would have been celibate longer.

Share a funny/strange story that you’ve experienced because of your size.

• – I guess its just strange the level of ignorance I had for my own body for so long.

When I was younger, I had this idea of being “normal” and I was dead set on being that no matter what.  The problem is, I thought part of being normal was my size matching my grade.  It was linear in that regard from the sixth grade.  So, 7th grade I thought I should be 7 inches and so on.

By the time I got to 9th grade, I was convinced that I wasn’t normal because I didn’t get to 9″ until about the third marking period.  Mark you, I was 15 years old.  When I had that health class the following year, I very literally couldn’t focus on anything else for a few weeks.  I went around asking ex girlfriends if they knew that I was bigger than the norm… I wanted to ask my dad but thankfully I didn’t.  Basically,  I was in a state of shock until I grew again in the 11th grade. By then, I hit 11″ and had a superiority complex.

Read Interview With the Super Endowed Part Deux (Two) Here.

Stay tuned for more “Interviews With…”

Resources:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/271647.php

How is Low Testosterone Treated?

But Wait, What is Low Testosterone?

Treatment options are available; including  (but not limited to):

Hormone Creams and Gels:

 The most common type of therapy is gel therapy, which is used by approximately 70% of patients. Men simply rub a gel onto their shoulders or upper arms after taking a shower.

Testosterone Injections and Patches

Bead implants are small plastic/silicone balls filled with testosterone. They are implanted under the “skin of the buttocks and the hormone is secreted over a 3-4 month period.

 Testosterone enters the bloodstream directly through these methods, offering an effective response. Oral testosterone exists, but experts believe they have negative effects on the blood stream.

What Can I Expect From Hormone Treatment?

Results vary by each individual, but most men see an improvement in energy level, sex drive and overall erection quality. Bone density, physical strength and muscle mass may increase in some men.

If you or your partner are experiencing symptoms of low testosterone, be sure to seek the advice of a licensed physician. Self-diagnosis can lead to incorrectly treating a condition.

Resources:

http://www.webmd.com/men/guide/testosterone-replacement-therapy-is-it-right-for-you

http://www.urologyhealth.org/urology/index.cfm?article=132

While we pride ourselves in sexual education here at VForVadge.com, we are a community of sexual beings who seek a healthy outlet for our feelings and thoughts. I received an anonymous piece of erotica that I would like to share with you all. Take a moment to read, “An Anonymous Confession of My Breast Obsession.”

I don’t know if it was my adaptation to married life and the acceptance that if I was going to be committed to my marriage that “extracurricular” full on sexual activity would not be an option; perhaps it was always a lingering fixation that hadn’t come to fruition and would remain dormant until my 30’s. Whatever it is, I am breast obsessed! There are certain things of the human anatomy that we tend to take for granted when they are a part of us. Gone are the days of boyish boisterous boasting of penile splendor. I don’t even imagine, as I did insanely in my youth that anyone would care to see it, prompting me to whip the monkey out during any and nearly every make out session. As I sit here however, on my side of the fence, I realize that I want to see the breasts of nearly every woman I consider attractive, but appealing to me in even the most casual (often platonic) way.

Burdened with the sorely painful knowledge that all breasts, nipples and areole are as unique as fingerprints I burn in my desire for the knowledge of them. V necks, blouses, bikini tops and even turtle neck sweaters are a taunting denial, mere puzzles in the enigma of glorious mammary knowledge. I have an affinity for the unintentional (better known as the nipple slip) and the awkward anxiety of my social interaction of women I know is appeased with the inadvertent or voluntary knowledge of the fact that I have “been to the land of milk and honey.”

My sexual frustrations abated. We can be friends. I don’t need to behave in typical manly fashion with unwanted advances. I am content. I have seen your breasts.

The crisis for now in some peculiar Oedipus-like fashion, has been averted.

I give you, my breast obsession.

 – Anonymous

Submit your anonymous confessions to vforvadge@gmail.com or enter your information below

(All posts are completely confidential and edited for grammar)

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Submit

What Do I Do if I Always Finish First?

I also wanted to ask you a question. Unlike many women who have a problem reaching orgasm. I happen to be extra sensitive so sometimes I finish before him. Is there anything I can use so I last longer?

You’d be surprised how many people share the same issue. You can start by stimulating him before yourself  – maybe orally or manually. It can provide you with a delay for a few minutes. There are also numbing cremes or sprays that desensitize the genitals to a certain degree, if method one doesn’t work.  

If I use a numbing cream will it effect him as well?

 If you’re not using a condom, he may get a slight buzz, but not much. If you orgasm before him, you can still seal the deal orally, manually or with a masturbation sleeve.

Or – Consider using a condom to lighten the sensation a little. 

Find a masturbation sleeve here

Wow, that’s sexy. What was Beyonce doing?

In the Partition video, “Yonce” is exhibiting a style of sensual expression called “boudoir.” A boudoir is a lady’s private bedroom, sitting room, or dressing room. The term comes from the French verb bouder, meaning “to be sulky.” The term boudoir can also describe a style of photography. The theme “creates a sensual image of the subject ‘in boudoir style,’ most popularly, candid photos of the individual partly clothed or in lingerie. Nudity is typically implied/suggested. Photo subjects participating in boudoir are typically inspired by upcoming wedding days, anniversaries or birthdays. Other popular reasons are Valentine’s Day, recent weight loss or surgery or for servicemen/women overseas.

Today, let’s talk about what Queen Bey has taught me about Boudoir and being sexy.

1. We Can Do It All Year Long.

The great part about it is that there doesn’t need to be a special occasion. If you wake up feeling sexy one morning, pull out your cute undies for evening time. If the two of you have a day off, spend it home alone together. Sometimes we get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, and forget the sexy things.

Read: How to Spice Up the Bedroom

Boudoir is a great way to ease into spicing up your love life. If you’re single, it is empowering to know that you can still be sexy for yourself. Understanding what makes you feel your best is a key component in building a healthy relationship. Pick a free day when you’re not expecting any company. Designate it as you time.

2. I Don’t Have to Buy Anything

Use what you have at home; a bath robe, sexy PJ’s – or even just bra and panties that look cute together. My favorite sexy home look is thigh-high socks, boy shorts and a comfy tee. Enjoy the soft fabric across your skin. Revel in the little things.

3. My Partner Can Join

Okay, so I can’t dance like Beyonce in her Louboutin heels. I can, however, practice a few moves in the mirror while she sings. If he’s still shy about participating, he sure can watch…

4. Sometimes, Bedhead is Sexy

My unruly afro doesn’t always make for a sexy, curly look when I get out of bed. One solution I’ve found is a flirty satin scarf or headband.

Let your hair peek out somewhere; either through the top or out the front.  You’ll look even sexier when your partner doesn’t have to wait three hours for you to get ready. 😉

5. I Am Sexy

In “Partition,” Bey is daydreaming about doing something frisky for her man. I realized after watching the video, that we all universally want the same things. No matter what, shape, size, skintone, height, hair texture – your partner is going to find you sexy regardless. Why not give him/her a little treat?

Wanna start off easy? Throw your own Boudoir Passion Party with a few friends! What better way to practice than with your girls?

Get Yours! 

This week, I had the honor of attending Latham Thomas’ Mama Glow meet-up. South Beach set the mood for a beautiful Miami day, and the event did not disappoint. It was a day of meditation, relaxation and reflection for mothers, expecting mamas and ladies hoping to start families.

En route to the Mama Glow event

We began by introducing ourselves and despite our varying professions, most of us had common ground in blogging or website ownership.  After getting the formalities out of the way, Latham initiated a brief meditation session; chanting “om” and allowing ourselves to expel the rushed energy we built up navigating the metro traffic. It was awesome. She talked about the importance of mothers taking time for themselves, and allowing time for personal restoration and care. Health and sexual energy was a great topic of discussion, as we can’t make babies without both factors.

My cousin (and fellow mommy blogger) Jheanell (Belle Jheanell) met a lovely lady on our way into Soho Beach House, and flowed into the event in the breeze of her aura. To our surprise, that beautiful spirit was Tracy Mourning. She engaged us with her life story, struggles and triumphs – right before sharing her non-profit lovechild; HoneyShine, Inc. I fell in love with the concept, and hope to work with her very soon.

Tracy Wilson Mourning

About HoneyShine:

Founded as the Honey Shine Mentoring Program in 2002 by Tracy Wilson Mourning Honey Shine has grown in many ways over the last 10 years, in 2010 Honey Shine received 501c3 status as Honey Shine, Inc.  Honey Shine’s mission is to encourage the balance of mind, body and soul in girls and young women by providing nurturing experiences that enlighten their paths and empower their future.

The “Aspire to Shine” workshops offered to the girls in the program, who are affectionately called ‘Honey Bugs’, address life-skill lessons and educational experiences that involve: health, nutrition, sex, and drug education; career mapping and education.

Workshops are held at a variety of South Florida attractions outside of the girls’ own communities; to help them in the development of personal goals, self-respect and self-esteem; financial literacy; journaling, self-exploration and expression.

Latham and Tracy shared the floor gracefully, and Mama Glow had my attention. The concept not only revolves around mothers, but around women as a whole. We all share the same organs, and deserve the same level of care.

Latham Thomas

About Mama Glow:

Mama Glow is an abundant, radiant energy that comes from within. It’s about your initiation, birthing yourself as a powerful woman, as you prepare to give birth to your bundle of joy. Birth is our rite of passage, and Mama Glow is our birth rite—to walk in grace, power, and wisdom, to have understanding, reverence, and trust in our bodies. Having faith in the benevolent universe and being an active participant in the co-creation of your fabulous life. This act of standing in your power ignites a force within that glows from the inside out. It’s a personal style that reflects confidence, beauty, radiance, and balance.

Different walks of life, united by the desire to find happiness within ourselves. The discussions touched on a myriad of topics; settling around motherhood, fertility and taking care of self. What felt like an hour was actually four, and we walked out feeling renewed, refreshed and bonded. I met a group of awesome women who may never be in the same space ever again. Like Ice Cube said – “today was a good day.“

Group Shot at MamaGlow with Latham Thomas

South Beach, Miami

Belle Jheanell, Kimi LeVadge and Chanell Nicole – mommy bloggers

Resources:

http://bellejheanell.com

http://www.honeyshine.org/

http://mamaglow.com/

http://www.sohobeachhouse.com/