Awkward Question: How Do I Spice Up My Marriage? - V for Vadge


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Awkward Question: How Do I Spice Up My Marriage?

Posted January 14, 2014 by Kimani in Love. Life. Erotica.
Tips to Spice Up Your Sex Life

“Hey Kim, I need ideas to spice up my sex life. We’re going away and I want to have lots of sex.” – “Married in NY “

Are you guys into toys?

“We’ve never used them before, but I’m willing to try anything. We’ve been having sex with each other for more than 10 years, and I don’t want him to get bored.”


There are a few answers to this, and I gladly bring you:

5 Steps to Keep Your Sex Life Exciting.

Are they all for you? Maybe, maybe not. The trick is, that trying each one can only make your love life better. Very seldom do they make it worse.

Pleasing Your Partner in Bed

Find Out What Your Partner’s Into

1. Find Out What He/She is Into

Does she like her toes sucked? Has he hinted about exploration of the “taint”?

Great partnerships are all about meeting the needs and expectations of the other.  Remember that it’s not only you that needs pleasing.

The best way to know for sure – is to ask. Starting up a dialogue is best done after sex, when you’re relaxed and comfortable.

Just make sure to catch your partner before he/she falls asleep!

Fresh Fruit During Sex Is An Aphrodisiac

Don’t Be Afraid to Try Something New

2. Don’t Be Afraid To Try Something New

Read about a new trick? Saw a technique you can try with your tongue? Gently surprise your partner with a new move every once in a while.

Be sure not to spring something completely out of the ordinary without consulting with your partner first. There’s nothing more blinding and confusing than a surprise vibrator where you least expect it.

Whether it be a new location or a position from Kama Sutra, new things add a level of excitement that can only be replaced with, well, something new.

Male Enhancement Product

Surprise Her Tonight

3. Turn Dysfunction Into a Dirty Word

There is a solution for nearly every problem in the bedroom. Erectile Dysfunction is not a death sentence for a man or his penis.

Consider products that are geared towards the specific concern.

Finishes early? Try masturbating first, then applying a Stay Hard Cream. It stimulates blood flow to the penis, creating a strong erection.

The pre-game masturbation typically creates a lag in ejaculation time.

Not into creams? Try a c-ring. Penis rings keep blood flow “locked” into the penis for harder, longer-lasting erections.

Include a vibrating ring and there’s pleasure for you and your partner.

Read More about Libido Here

Foreplay Before Sex Increases Libido

Sometimes Sex Is Not The Answer

4. Sometimes Sex Is Not the Answer

Try getting into the mood by not having sex. Foreplay is the lubrication that gets the engine started (see what I did there?).

Kissing, embracing, caressing and fondling can all be done without actual penetration.

See how long you can perform these activities before the sensation becomes unbearable.

Then – have at it.

“According to a national sex study, with the exception of the 71+ age group, at least 60% of men have masturbated within the past year, and an impressive 84% of men between 25 and 29 are taking matters into their own hands. In contrast, women are masturbating in much smaller numbers, consistently 10% to 30% lower than men in the same age group. This is bad news for you because a woman who is well acquainted with her own body will be more confident sexually, making her willing and able to blow your mind in the bedroom. So, you should never discourage her from pleasuring herself.”

“The survey also revealed that masturbating in the presence of a partner is a less popular activity than going solo with only 49% of men aged 25 to 29 engaging in it. Encouraging your girl to touch herself while you watch is the best way to learn what does it for her, and letting her watch you will have the same effect for her.”

Sex Toys to Spice Up the Bedroom

Add Toys To Your Playtime

5. Add Toys To Your Playtime

Toys, also known in the industry as “marriage aides,” can stimulate parts of the body that your partner has yet to discover.

Consider introducing a new toy each month with your partner. Whether you’ve tried toys before in the past or not, it will be a new

experience for the two of you.

G-Spot Stimulators are primarily used for the female “G-Spot”, but can be used in other areas such as the “taint” in men or the clitoris on women.

Toys are not substitutes for human stimulation, but can be the catalyst to pleasuring your partner.

How To Spice Up the Bedroom

Get To Know Your Partner’s Sexual Preferences

The bottom line is – you must be in tune with your partner to know what works and what doesn’t. 

None of this advice is a cure for the good old conversation. Have a dialogue with your partner every once in a while to find out

his/her needs. It’s the best advice I could ever give.

Feel free to ask your Awkward Questions in the comment box below, or email me at All posts are completely confidential.


About the Author


A NY transplant in Florida, Kimani has taken on the task of educating the world on sexual health and education. The Mount Vernon native has seen AIDS and HIV spread through her community like wildfire, and hopes to cease the transmission of these and other diseases one person at a time. If you know better, you're inclined to do better.

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