VforVadge

Microbeads; Know Your Materials…

*Update: As of December 2015, microbeads have been banned in the United States **

Most people have a regimen when it comes to getting ready to start the day. For me, I like to head to the gym, come home and shower, exfoliate with a good scrub, and prepare for the hours to come. I’ve never really been into fancy facial care products, but I do love exfoliation. One way that many people choose to do this is by using face products containing microbeads. They leave your skin feeling soft and pores looking cute – but what exactly are they? Today, we’ll take a look at the composition of microbeads and what you’re really doing with them.

Microbeads are tiny bits of plastic, typically shaped like microscopic pearls and found in popular cosmetic items like facial scrub and toothpaste. They are effective in scrubbing off dead skin and shrinking pores, but also have a dangerous side that do not get much coverage. Microbeads have even been found inside live fish being prepared for consumption. I used to think that they burst while you were washing your face and dissolved into the water, then I discovered that microbeads are not water soluble. This truly made me nervous, so I decided to do a little research.

Can you imagine eating those little plastic beads?

The thought is scary, but is very much a real threat, despite food regulations that call for inspection of fish before hitting retailers. Think about Uncle Joe as he fishes in the lake and brings some home to cook for dinner. You could be enjoying plastic crusted grouper. Yeah, that’s real.

So, what’s the alternative to microbeads? 

Try an all natural exfoliator like a salt/sugar scrub or a body wash/bar containing exfoliating oatmeal. There are plenty of other ways to exfoliate your skin, while avoiding the potentially dangerous effects of microbeads.

Sound Off: Do you use microbeads? Think you’ll reconsider them with the new ban in place?

Resources:

CBS News

Huffington Post

Time.com

CNN.com  

Our favorite LGBT advocate, Charlie gives a quick, yet vivid look into what it means to be a Pansexual individual. You may have heard the word being used lightly, like when artist Angel Haze discussed her pansexuality. Take a peek into Charlie’s world and perhaps you may gain some insight…

According to Webster’s Dictionary, Pansexuals are “people who exhibit or imply many forms of sexual expression.”

In Layman’s terms, I date, love have sex with anyone regardless of their genitalia or gender expression. I have had people in utter awe because some find it to be a mind fuck, more so because they are forced to realize that there are so many different people who I date. I can be attracted to anyone across the gender expression spectrum, from trans folks to intersex folks to those who identify as gender-fluid and I could never forget cis gendered folks. For those wondering what cis-gendered is, it means that your gender identity matches the sex you were assigned at birth. None the less, even with all of the “options” of being able to date. The best way I can make the connection to those who are heterosexual or otherwise is, we all have a preference as far as how feminine, masculine our partners are, including but not limited to how they dress, facial/body features, characteristics, y’all get the point. For a Pansexual, it is literally the same thing just without their “sexual organs” being apart of the equation.

How did this all come about for me you ask?

When I was in my freshman year of high school, I came out to friends and fellow classmates as Bi-sexual. Back then people believed that there was no way that bisexuals could actually exists. It was either you liked one or the other. Responses like “y’all are just greedy” and “you must be confused” shadowed my chosen sexual identity. Even after coming out as a Lesbian and later on as Queer, the confusion persisted but definitely became much more watered down as it seemed people became more comfortable with celebrities coming out as Gay, Lesbian or Queer as well. But even with my final I.D. I did not feel as comfortable. Something about the other identities I claimed did not fully encompass who I was attracted to nor who I enjoyed sex with. If you didn’t know, now you know, there is a difference between who you love and choose to be in a relationship with and people you just enjoy sex with. That may be best left for another article. Currently and finally, I identify as a Pansexual.

Now, it seems the other reason that a lot of people don’t know about Pansexuals is because our sexual preference can cloak us in other sexual identifiers such as heterosexual, bisexual, gay or lesbian at any given moment. For those out there reading this and feeling like we are tricking people, being greedy or whatever other thing you may think, refer back to the first paragraph of this article. It is really that simple.

People like what they like, are attracted to all sorts of other folks and although many people don’t want to admit it, genitals is the last thing that attracts us to another person.

Have a question for Charlie? Send it to us anonymously – don’t be afraid to ask!

With the current news featuring the outbreak, this month’s Ebola scare starts to feel like an episode of the Walking Dead. Many believe the disease is transmitted simply by touching an infected individual, but there is quite a bit more to the explanation. Today’s Awkward Question is:

Can You get Ebola From Sex?

To understand transmission, we must first get an idea of what Ebola actually is. It is a rare, but deadly infection that causes internal and external bleeding of the body. Ebola gets its name from the Ebola River, which is near one of the villages in the Democratic Republic of Congo where the disease first appeared. The disease commonly strikes remote villages of Central and West Africa. Also known as Ebola Hemoragic (for the bleeding) Fever, the disease kills up to 90% of the people it infects.

What are the Symptoms of Ebola?

Many of the early symptoms of Ebola look like the flu or other mild illnesses. They include:

· Fever

· Headache

· Muscle aches

· Sore throat

· Weakness

· Diarrhea

As the disease gets worse, people who are infected may develop:

· Bleeding inside and outside of the body

· Rash

· Trouble breathing

How Can You Tell if Someone Has Ebola?

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if a person has Ebola from the symptoms alone.

Doctors may first test for other diseases that have the same symptoms as Ebola, such as:

· Cholera

· Hepatitis

· Malaria

· Meningitis

· Typhoid fever

Tests of the blood and tissues, such as the ELISA test, also can help diagnose Ebola.

If someone might have Ebola, they should be isolated from the public immediately to help prevent the spread of Ebola.

How Is Ebola Treated?

Right now there is no real treatment or cure for Ebola. Doctors try to manage people’s symptoms by giving them:

· Fluids and electrolytes through a vein

· Nutrition

· Oxygen

How is Ebola Contracted?

Contrary to the zombie diseases shown on television, Ebola is not contracted from being bitten by a sick individual.

You can get Ebola by coming into contact with the blood or body fluids of an animal or person who is infected. Animals that often transmit the disease include monkeys, chimps and fruit bats. Once an individual is infected, he or she can spread it to others.

People often get sick with Ebola when they care for or bury a person who has the disease. Someone also can catch the virus by touching contaminated needles or surfaces

Because of the transmission risk through bodily fluids, Ebola can be contracted through sexual intercourse. This may happen if a seemingly healthy individual (possibly in the early stages of the disease) comes into intimate contact with another. It is not recommended to have intercourse if you believe you have been in contact with someone who may have the virus.

How Can You Prevent Ebola?

Currently, there is no vaccine to prevent Ebola. People can avoid catching the disease by not traveling to areas where the virus is found.

Health care workers can prevent infection by wearing masks, gloves, and goggles whenever they come into contact with people who may have Ebola.

Resources:

http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/ebola-fever-virus-infection

http://web.stanford.edu/group/virus/filo/transmission.html

I had a great time with the lovely KissyFace454 as we talked about our first anal experiences (and sipped wine). I’ll summarize it below, but check out the video for the full story. We also unboxed Kissy’s new toy from Hello Cherie – a glass, ribbed anal plug!  I’ve also included a few tips for making anal sex a bit more pleasurable for you and your partner – check it out after the jump.

My First Anal Experience…

It was a cute little vacation weekend, we went away somewhere and were in a really nice hotel. We agreed beforehand that we were gonna try it that night. A bit of tequila and lots of lube later, I had my first go at anal. It was not as bad as I expected. However, after our romantic shower and while I was oiling myself up, I felt a rush coming from my butt. I was about to poop!! I ran back into the bathroom and made it to the toilet, but I couldn’t stop the rush of poop once I sat down.

Moral of the story – poop before anal or take an enema. I suggest the enema.

Here’s a few more tips for a more comfortable anal experience…

AND

Be sure to subscribe to KissyFace454’s YouTube Channel 

Check Out Her Blog – theFourFiveFour.com

Follow Her on Instagram 

Get this product at HelloCheri.com

Hey guys – if you’re tuning in from my previous post, you heard me discussing my first time trying anal sex. Yes, this is a taboo topic, but I want to make sure my Vadgesters are out there exploring in the safest ways possible. Here are my tips for a more comfortable anal experience.

1. Relax. 

The worst thing you can do while attempting anal intercourse is tense up. The anal sphincter is an involuntary muscle that is designed for exit (not entry), so it requires relaxation for enjoyment. Breathe in deep through your nose, exhale deeply through your mouth. All the air should make your stomach expand and contract as you breathe (from your diaphragm), and you’ll notice your butt loosen up a bit.

2. Use Condoms

Condoms have their own lubricant, so adding a water based lube to that can help eliminate the friction that can be caused from skin to skin contact. The anus does not produce its own wetness quite as the vagina does, so consider a condom for extra help.  Also, if you happen to have an “accident,” It makes for easier cleanup and less awkward moments with your partner.

3. Lube, lube, lube!!

Just like your engine can’t run smoothly without oil, neither can your anus. A water-based lubricant used in conjunction with a condom will definitely do the trick. If you choose a silicone-based lube, it will not work with condoms as it breaks down the material and may break.

4. Enema of the State

I just needed to use that title. Taking an enema an hour before anal sex is a great way to make sure you avoid my horror story. Enemas work by flushing out the rectal cavity of any excrement (poop) that may still be sitting around. Be sure to follow the directions on the box before using.

**Bonus**: Try getting used to anal penetration with an anal plug/gauge.

I hope these tips help you on your exploration journey in the bedroom. Feel free to search “anal” for any other related stories and posts that I’ve written on the topic. As usual, if you have any questions – I’m always available at vforvadge@gmail.com.

I was reading my daily intake of the news and came across an article that piqued my interest. Toys R Us features an anatomically correct male doll in their inventory, and some parents are up in arms about it. I had to scratch my head and wonder.

Are humans not anatomically correct? We each are born with genitals and sexual organs, unless genetic defects say otherwise – right? Why then, would a parent be upset that a doll that is marketed as a realistic baby has genitalia? Is this some sort of modesty issue? The doll still comes with a diaper and baby clothes, it’s not donning a pair of Speedos or a bikini.

These are the issues that make sex education a tricky job. Parents often spend too much time worrying about over sexualizing their children, and neglect to remember that a part of growing up is self-actualization. Eventually that baby you birthed grows into a child, then teen, then adult. Unless he/she joins a seminary, he or she will eventually have sex. Even before that, the child has to make bowel movements and urinate – all of which comes out of the genitals.

Right?

As a parent myself, I understand the fear of exposing children to sex too early, but there are ways to educate them as they grow. Don’t be afraid to talk about the penis and vagina. We all need them to function in life. I have compiled a short list of things parents can do to conquer this fear and grow with their children.

5 Ways to Cope with Anatomically Correct Dolls:

1. Explain circumcision to male children

2. Describe the parts of the body

3. Set the standard for “No Touch Zones”

4. Talk about the birds and the bees

5. Show the difference between boys and girls

My mother talked about vaginas and penises to me. As we’d shower together, she told me what my vagina did. Not ever in my life did I think my vagina was a nondescript, androgynous lump as I had seen on some dolls. My Baby Alive doll had real genitals; I learned how to clean a baby and make sure she didn’t have poop in her special place. All children deserve to be equipped for the future, and it starts with the babies in more ways than one.

See the Doll – is it really that bad?

Do you think dolls should be anatomically correct? Weigh in! 

Resources:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41tknnPjyFL._SY300_.jpg

http://www.today.com/parents/doll-penis-shocks-some-parents-1D80005572

http://www.toysrus.com/graphics/product_images/pTRU1-16811795dt.jpg

“Hey there! I have a question for your site, but I dunno – I don’t want to offend anyone. My son was watching Real Housewives of Atlanta with me and wanted to know why the guy was wearing high heels and makeup. How do you explain something like that? As well as the homosexual thing. I was so stuck when he asked!”

This can be a tricky discussion, depending on the level of intuitiveness that your child has. I will do my best to keep the explanation on a broad spectrum, in an attempt to cover (without actually discussing) various reasons why a man would be wearing heels.- Kimi 

Please keep in mind, homosexuality and cross dressing do not have to correlate. A man can identify as heterosexual, but still enjoy wearing women’s clothes in various levels. We’ll touch on that later.

First, when we are teaching children about cultural and identity differences, we must be careful not to include any biases we may have as adults. Children are not born with prejudice for or against any group of individuals, those behaviors are taught or learned. 

I consulted with our resident LGBT writer, Charlie for better insight. Her verbiage is awesome…

It is important to let kids know that people wear all kinds of clothing, so not bringing up specific words like homosexual, trans etc. will help negate much deeper and possibly confusing conversation for the child. 

If talking about sexuality its important, feel free to point out that it is just the same as they like whoever he/she may like or crush on (if they are at that stage). Everyone has a preference, and the individual in question happens to like someone of the same gender. 

Keeping a general base such as that helps the child to have a reference point when asking questions that start with Why. Understand that talking about these topics will prepare him as he gets older. He’ll understand or accept people more readily if he knows that it’s okay to be different.

For more references, please visit the links I’ve chosen below. They are not affiliated with VForVadge.com, but they provided me with great insight and facts:

Gender Centre

GLBTQ

Go Ask Alice! (Columbia University) 

Cover Photo via – Leland Bobbe

Why Situationships Never Work…

Okay, peep the scenario.

You have a person you really dig and want to date. That person digs you too, but isn’t looking to settle down just yet. In an effort to meet in the middle, you two agree to be friends with benefits. After coitus (sex), you go to your respective homes and carry on with your days/nights.

Sounds good so far, right?

So. You guys do this for a while. Sometimes, you pack an overnight bag so you can head to work in the morning. Months pass, you’ve even got a toothbrush you “forgot” at his place. Keep in mind, nothing is official yet; you guys are just friends with benefits. You don’t see him for a couple of days, and eventually find out he’s been going out with someone. Hurt, you pick up the phone to call him, but you remember that he’s not your boyfriend. Instead, you decide to go on a date with that cute guy that gave you his number last week. Once your FWB catches wind of this, he proceeds to tell you that having sex with anyone else is not part of the rules. Ask him if he slept with the young lady he went out with the other day.

Go ahead, ask him.

Tricky, right?

The problem with Situationships is that there’s no exclusivity. You get lured in by the prospect of sex without commitment and forget to read the fine print. The Friend With Benefits may not be comfortable with you sharing your vadge with another man, because of a plethora of reasons. He, however, may be engaging in sexual activity with other women because of the aforementioned exclusivity clause.

So, what do you do?

You’re now torn between the man you want and the potential man you deserve. This conundrum is what I call “clogging your blessings.” They can’t flow freely because the FWB is blocking in both directions. You have a tough decision to make. After spending so much time with this “friend,” you now feel like you’ll be leaving something that could grow into a full-blown relationship. The other men pursuing you could very well treat you much better, though. Unfortunately, the fairy tale usually stops there. If said friend has not made a move to check out the next level, chances are he’s not ready or interested. That leaves you, the hopeless romantic, unsure and technically single.

What Happens Next?    

This may be a good time to think about whether your beau is what Solange calls “T.O.N.Y.” – read the symptoms here…