Why Situationships Never Work…

Okay, peep the scenario.

You have a person you really dig and want to date. That person digs you too, but isn’t looking to settle down just yet. In an effort to meet in the middle, you two agree to be friends with benefits. After coitus (sex), you go to your respective homes and carry on with your days/nights.

Sounds good so far, right?

So. You guys do this for a while. Sometimes, you pack an overnight bag so you can head to work in the morning. Months pass, you’ve even got a toothbrush you “forgot” at his place. Keep in mind, nothing is official yet; you guys are just friends with benefits. You don’t see him for a couple of days, and eventually find out he’s been going out with someone. Hurt, you pick up the phone to call him, but you remember that he’s not your boyfriend. Instead, you decide to go on a date with that cute guy that gave you his number last week. Once your FWB catches wind of this, he proceeds to tell you that having sex with anyone else is not part of the rules. Ask him if he slept with the young lady he went out with the other day.

Go ahead, ask him.

Tricky, right?

The problem with Situationships is that there’s no exclusivity. You get lured in by the prospect of sex without commitment and forget to read the fine print. The Friend With Benefits may not be comfortable with you sharing your vadge with another man, because of a plethora of reasons. He, however, may be engaging in sexual activity with other women because of the aforementioned exclusivity clause.

So, what do you do?

You’re now torn between the man you want and the potential man you deserve. This conundrum is what I call “clogging your blessings.” They can’t flow freely because the FWB is blocking in both directions. You have a tough decision to make. After spending so much time with this “friend,” you now feel like you’ll be leaving something that could grow into a full-blown relationship. The other men pursuing you could very well treat you much better, though. Unfortunately, the fairy tale usually stops there. If said friend has not made a move to check out the next level, chances are he’s not ready or interested. That leaves you, the hopeless romantic, unsure and technically single.

What Happens Next?    

This may be a good time to think about whether your beau is what Solange calls “T.O.N.Y.” – read the symptoms here…