American Sex Ed and Island Cultures

I am a first-generation American. My parents got their citizenships when I was in High School, I believe. Growing up with Island parents, the stereotype was always that sex would never be a topic of discussion. Even living in America, with the sometimes-y level of sex education we were taught at school – most of my peers’ lessons were learned in the streets.

Just don’t do it. Or you’ll get pregnant. 

Fortunately for me, I had a very honest and open mom. She was slow to anger, never judged me for my decisions and made sure the channels were open for communication. We’d sit home in the evenings and watch Maury (an age-old talk show you kids probably don’t know about), and she’d ask me my thoughts on being pregnant as a teen. How I’d feel if I had a baby and the father didn’t want it – or me. Those kinds of conversations put sex into perspective for me. I was equipped to not have it unless I knew I was ready. Even though I didn’t quite wait until I was ready – but that’s another story.

When I looked around at my friends, however – they weren’t having those conversations with their parents. They weren’t talking about sex at all. In fact – they were talking about sex with me instead. It then became my duty to educate my peers on the truths about sex. I think I’ll debunk some myths later on today…

Anywhoo – this got me to thinking. What is sex education like to my other friends who have Carib/Island/Foreign/Older parents? I decided to poll them – which I love oh so much to do.

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Jamaica:

I started with myself: 

“Both my parents were raised in Jamaica. My father never talked to me about sex until he found out I lost my virginity. He thought making me uncomfortable was the best way to keep me away from sexual activity. My mom was more open, and made sure we had casual conversation about sex; we even watched Maury together so I could see what it’s like to be a thotty baby mama. She made me knowledgeable and unafraid to say no – or yes.”

C.C. – “My mom never talked about sex.Everything I learned about sex, I read about it in books…

My mom taught me nothing about sex, or my body or feelings or boys or nothing… Everything I learned was from reading books & listening to other Ppl … My Aunt told me about my period, so I wasn’t frightened when I got it… I read up more about it on my own… Funny this is, my mom was a registered nurse, you would think she’d be OK talking to us… Mind you, she had 5 girls…

When I got pregnant, I didn’t tell my mom either… Again, I turned to books to diagnose my symptoms… My mom didn’t know I was prego until the 7th month… She just thought I was fat.. I was chunky anyway.”

A.H. – Jamaican parents.

Father: When I got my period at 11, my mother wasn’t home, so he told me to go to the bathroom and wash up. When I came out, he said, “you’re a woman now, you can get pregnant and have kids”. He didn’t say “how” I’d get pregnant. That was the end of that.

Mother: “I don’t want nuh B.O.Y. inna mi house, mi nuh want nuh B.O.Y. ah call mi phone!”

That was the jist of sex education. They were super religious. Very restrictive. Going to Catholic school didn’t help either. I had so much GUILT!

My first sexual encounter was at 12.

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Trinidad:

Kat:  “My mom, Trini, was very sheltered growing up & she didn’t want the same for me. I dont think she knew how to approach the subject, so she bought me a book about sex & reproduction when I was around 11.
It was based on Christian values. She always encouraged & answered any questions that I had, while preaching abstinence. LoL. It worked until I was almost 19.”

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Vic: lmaoooo may her soul RIP , granny used to tell us when we were kids… if a boy touches you, you will get preganant. So don’t let any boy touch you!

I remember maybe two weeks after a boy in school, back home.. touched my shoulder. I came home in dreadful tears ” im pregnant”. She sat me down quick, what do you mean.. i relayed the same thing she told me and said he touched my shoulder… myy granny laughed so jolly….

But my mother, spoke to us not in a way to scare us, but explained and dicussed. My mom has always beena great teacher… mommy and I talk about everything

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Haiti: 

Y: Sex….I learned that all on my own. It was never talked about. I also learned about my menstrual on my own. Sadly but island folks are the worst when it comes to educating their kids bout sex.

 I use to touch myself from young. Got beat all the time for it.

Haitian folks are the worst..smh. i learned about sex from movies, friends and porn.

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Steve: Haiti. They didn’t tell me anything about it. My father did constantly tell me stories of coworker’s children that seemed to ruin their lives after getting someone pregnant.  I figured sex was taboo since they never talked about it. I stole my cousin’s porno tapes and bought nudie magazines. Great but shocking stuff to me.

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Mimi: Both parents are from Haiti and they never sat down with me to talk about sex. Neither did my siblings, they were too busy. I learned from movies, porn and friends.

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Hyp: Haitian my mother gave me the talk when I was 8, I knew about gays, sexual intercourse , molestation etc. My mother was on her own as a child so she wasn’t pampered so she made sure I wasn’t either.

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St. Croix:

Dame: I Grew Up with a mix of street/porn/older male cousins and RN’s in my family.
I learned the facts. And all the myths.

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Panama: 

Riss: My paw paw told me that when a boy touches me it is going to feel nice…but don’t worry about those things until I finish school…mammie didn’t tell me much…i figured things out on my own…using the mirror…watching porn…reading Anais Nin novels…and sex ed in school…didnt help that I went through puberty at 8 either.

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Mixed Ethnicity:

Dee: Pops is French Canadian/ Haitian moms from the south. My folks were rigid explained sex and relationships early *pre-teen. Won’t tell a story. To keep it simple my pops told me never mind woman make something of yourself first. Woman ain’t going no where. He taught me to think with my mind and not my dick. No unwanted pregnancies no woman drama in my life.

Drew: Well my father is from St Kitts and my mother is from Antigua …… My father never mention a word about sex to me…… I really never ask nor why he never talk about it. My mother waited until I was in college to say anything and the only thing was said was here (hand me condoms) and travel and live your life before you have a child ……. I learn by school (sex ed) and listen to my friends. Also watching all the mistakes my friends went thru so that I can avoid making …

S.C.: There was none in my house. I didnt even get the birds and bees talk after getting my period. I got abag of pads. And later on false accusations that I was [having sex], lol. I learned from BET Uncut, friends and self experience.

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America:

N.W.: From [America] and my parents were open about it. My dad was a P.E. and Health teacher. Plus momma started out when I was young on adults not to inappropriately touch my sister and I. Then my dad being open about his sexual experiences as well.

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Trina: This might freak some people out (it has in the past but I remember other little fast asses like me so I can’t be the only one)… but I remember being like 6 and masturbating, having friends over, boys and girls, and playing “doctor”… one time I got caught with a boy at age 5, before I was really sexualizing it, and it was cute and funny to my mom.. the next time I was 6 and it was with a girl and my mom flipped out.

We weren’t naked or anything, just playing “shine the flashlight down our pants”… I remember my parents, as much of “hippies” that they were, and memories of my mom walking around naked, my mom was a huge prude. If there was nudity on tv or sexuality she’d leave the room. She beleaguered the lesbians she worked with at home, talking about the “lewd” comments they made. It wasn’t her fault.

She was raised in a very puritan household, with a German/French mother and an Italian father from the Bronx. My mom suffers bi polar disorder and it really started showing when I was 7 or 8, and starting to really masturbate like a fiend. At age 13 she ransacked my room and found condoms, my dads playboys, a few drawings I did and from then on there was a “search” of my room every few weeks. This didn’t stop me from being a little sex addict.

I was super confused by my attraction to women and would draw them in pretty graphic sex scenarios and when my mom found that she would make me sleep with the lights on, take baths with the door open. It got progressively worse as I got older. Oddly enough I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 18. I was raped by 4 guys along with another girl on a trip to DC at 14…. I remember her saying it was my fault over and over. I don’t count that as losing my virginity.

After I lost it at 18 I ran around and slept with any and everyone until about age 25… that’s when I got married, and, oddly enough, that’s when I started stripping. I was the only stripper that was married, didn’t cheat, didn’t do private shows and didn’t do champagne rooms that I met. It was the most sexually liberating period of my life because I felt I had total control. I could walk in a club and assume this personality (“Sasha” – pre-Beyonce) and own the place. If there was another Sasha, I insisted she change her name, even if she was there before me.

AND.. odder than that, I was living with my parents for 6 of those months and they never caught on. My mom even washed my outfits once thinking I worked at some fancy cocktail bar and just wore crazy underwear…. I swear….

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So – there you have it. Different walks of life, different ethnic parental backgrounds – similar stories.

It reminds me of why my job is so important. There are young people out there with no one to get credible information from. It’s up to sex health educators like myself to ensure comfortable, safe outlets for their questions and concerns. Curiosity doesn’t always kill the cat – but it usually gets her pregnant.

What was sex education like in your household? Feel free to join in the conversation below – no need to use your real name (unless you want t0).

Big thanks to all my friends who shared with us today.

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Read “WHY I GET UPSET WHEN MY DAUGHTER SAYS SHE IS “BLACK””

This post is in collaboration with jenniferpriest.com as part of a multi-cultural blogger exploration facilitated by Alt Summit, Latina Bloggers Connect, and Blogalicious. We decided to talk about our experiences with race, being that we are both multi-cultural people raising up multi-cultural families. 

Thank you for stopping by! Stay up to date on sex health and education news by signing up for our newsletter below:

Sexy, Affordable Getaways – Little River Inn

In the day to day grind, even the most well-balanced individual needs a break. Travel commercials litter the televisions and billboards, but they are expensive! As a business professional and traveler, I find joy in discovering quality, beautiful vacation spots that won’t break the bank. Today, we’ll take a look at the Little River Inn and its great amenities. I’m sure you’ll fall in love…

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Aesthetics:

First, I like the “home away from home” vibe that I get from Little River Inn; it makes me feel welcome just by looking at the photos. The building looks well-kept, the furniture is modern yet gives a comfortable vibe, as if you’re visiting a favorite family member. The views, however – look amazing and are perfect for a romantic getaway with your partner.

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I mean – look out that window! Can you imagine waking up there next to your lover? I can.

Actually, I can picture myself waking up here alone, too. This makes a great Mommy’s Getaway location – think about grabbing a few girlfriends and running away for the weekend instead. There are weekend packages available to cater to your relaxation needs.

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The Vibe:

While relaxing at the in-house bar (Ole’s Whale Watch Bar), you can still enjoy the beautiful view. I dream of the quiet crash of waves while I enjoy cute conversation and the lull of ocean sounds. Mendocino looks like a beautiful place and I am so eager to get there and experience it. Little River Inn has definitely piqued my interest in California even more.

Amenities:

This place is luxuriously filled with packages to suit your needs. I looked at each special to find one that sounds like a great fit for myself and hubby. There will be no children on this trip, so the Luxury Spa Package was my first choice. It includes two nights and an ocean view. Add some wine to this and I am in heaven. Did I mention the price for two is crazy good? I can’t even say it here, I feel like it may disappear!

So, if you’re looking to do some quick traveling and take a break from the mundane – check out Little River Inn. Find some cheap airline tickets and get yourself to Mendocino for a few days of rest, romance and relaxation.

For More Information – check out Little River Inn’s website.

How to Know if Your Relationship is Ready for a Threesome

by Dr. Yvonka De Ridder

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Threesomes are one of the most common fantasies every couple has at one time or another. I am happy to say that it is 99.9% normal. But the idea of sharing your partner with a stranger or even a friend can elicit many confusing feelings if you haven’t thought it through or talked it through properly.

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So how do you know if it’s just a fun fantasy or something you’re really ready to try? Every couple (every person!) is different, but there are a few majorly important factors to consider. For instance:

Are you both equally aroused by the idea?

First and foremost, this needs to be a desire or predominantly shared interest. We all want to make our partner’s sexy dreams come true if we can, but (ideally) it should be a hot experience for us as well. Are you both on the same page about threesomes? If everyone’s not equally into it, the experience could be pretty unpleasant.

Do you both fantasize about it separately? Does it only come up when you’re drunk? Do you feel like you or they are just going along with it? Think about these things before making any serious plans.

Are you sexually uninhibited around each other?

If you have a lot of hang-ups in the bedroom, adding an audience certainly won’t help things. A threesome is likely to have a few awkward moments at the start and can turn wild and experimental. If you’re going to walk away with a lot of regrets or embarrassment, you may want to reconsider.

However if you and your partner are up for anything and have fun no matter what you try then you could probably handle the curveballs a threesome might throw. Remember to loosen up and be open while sticking to any boundaries you’ve discussed beforehand.

How strong is your relationship?

I don’t mean “are you in love?” People can be in love and still have a fragile relationship. I mean how many “tools” do you have in your toolbox when it comes to the skill sets needed to get through tough times? Have you been through lots of difficult ordeals and worked together to resolve them? Do you both communicate your feelings honestly and listen to each other without judging?

If you’re going to test the waters of your relationship with a threesome, you need to communicate regularly and honestly. And you need to remember that you’re always on the same team – there’s no room for jealousy and bitterness.

If you don’t want to do something it’s important to be able to tell your partner so without them getting upset. This is important to remember before, during and after any sexual play with them and others.

Do you or your partner have jealous tendencies?

Threesomes can be hot to talk about, but if either of you gets jealous easily it probably won’t work out and you may not be ready. If your partner gets uncomfortable when you hang out with someone who may be a sexual interest, or when you make comments about others being attractive, how do you think they’ll feel when you’re naked with someone else right in front of them?

The same goes for you. Imagine the reality of being there watching your partner tangled up in someone that’s not you, kissing and pleasuring them. If the thought makes you cringe, you’re probably not ready for the real thing.

This doesn’t mean you’ll never be ready! You’re just not there yet. It’s normal to always have a little bit of that feeling, there is such thing as healthy jealousy, but when the excitement of the experience your sharing with your partner surpasses the jealousy, it’s a good indicator you may be ready.

Do you and your partner have unresolved past issues?

If there’s any history of physical or emotional infidelity in your relationship, a threesome could open up old wounds. Just telling yourself it will be fine isn’t enough, you need to really address those concerns before you try anything.

The same goes for any sexual insecurities. Lots of people try threesomes as a way of “spicing things up” in the bedroom, but this could backfire if you or your partner enjoys sex with the new, spicy third too much.

Talk through your desires and concerns with your partner before you think of bringing anyone else into the mix. Be completely honest. It’s better to recognize a bad idea before it happens!

Have you considered who your third might be?

Choosing a third is maybe the hardest part of a threesome. If it’s a friend things may become awkward later. If it’s a stranger you don’t know that you can trust them. So who do you ask?

It’s not a bad idea for your first threesome to be a one-time affair with whatever third person you choose. That way there are no expectations of future play if you don’t enjoy it, and you don’t necessarily have to see them again. It’s also not a bad idea to try to find someone experienced in that lifestyle. Swingers clubs and websites are often full of people looking to just have fun but who have done it all before and it may be intimidating.

Meet up with the person first! See if you both like them and find them attractive, and make sure they can prove that they are clean. If they’re not patient enough to go through with all of that, then they may not be the right person. However, for some the prep process can be tedious, if this is the case, shift your focus on making it a bit more spontaneous but this can be risky for health and safety reasons.

Threesomes are tricky business! But take your time and talk things out, and they can be some of the most exciting experiences of your sex life. Communication is one of the single most important factors that can help make sexual exploration experiences positive.

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ABOUT DR. YVONKA DE RIDDER:

Dr. Yvonka De Ridder is a sex therapist, clinical sexologist, and

 relationship expert based out of Tampa, FL. Dr. De Ridder has a M.S.

 in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Capella University, and

a B.A. in Psychology from the University of Tampa. She’s also the CEO

 of Love, Live, Therapy, LLC, a practice she began to help prospective

patients in the field of marriage counseling and sex therapy, as well

as the resident ‘sexpert’ on Tampa Bay’s top FM radio station, 102.5

 The Bone. De Ridder has recently come aboard the Jasmin.com/JasminTV

 ‘sexpert’ team to lend her knowledge toward repositioning the brand

 and helping to further a social cause regarding the expanded and

 unhindered general conversation surrounding the perceptions of sexual

 relations in the mainstream consciousness.

Have you ever wondered how sexually diseased your city is? If not, you may want to think about that.

RentApplication.com has created an interactive map to help anyone considering sex in America to think twice…

It may seem like common sense to use condoms, but many individuals skip them for various reasons:

“I don’t see any bumps/blisters/lesions.”

“He/She looks clean.”

“I get tested all the time.”

“He/She gets tested – if I had something, I would know.”

This type of logic is dangerous, especially because certain STD’s and STI’s can go undetected for months – sometimes years. It’s no coincidence that sexually diseased cities exist, because responsibility needs to increase amongst adults. Not only wearing condoms, but getting tested is so crucial to the whole operation.

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Read: How a Porn Star Nearly Infected the Whole Industry…

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It’s impossible to honestly say an individual is “clean” if he/she have not been tested this year.

Let’s all get it together, folks.

If you’re unsure of your status – find a testing center near you. Many places are free or low-cost – all are confidential.

Big thanks to RentApplication.com for providing me with this great information.

The Most Sexually Diseased Cities in America

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This map about STD statistics was created and produced by RentApplication.com

The Top 10 Most Sexually Diseased Cities are:4

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We have received many requests from the media for additional rankings, so we have expanded this list to include the top 100 most sexually diseased cities in America:

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How We Collected and Created This Data

The data used here comes from the CDC for 2013, and reflects reports of syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia. (Herpes data is not collected).  To normalize the data, we measured rates per 100,000 people. We chose only to show cities with a significant amount of population, so rural counties are not show on this map.

Specifically, we only rankied cities with a population of at least 50,000 or more. We ignored absolute STDs and only used the rate per 100k to establish rankings. We opted to treat Washington, DC. as a city and not a state. We also chose to represent each borough of NYC separately. They represent very different populations and should be treated as such.

The CDC makes available a wide range of statistical, anonymous data about STDs in America.

Resources:

Aids.gov

RentApplication.com

VForVadge.com

I had a jam packed weekend, and it surely didn’t disappoint. It started on South Beach with Miami Swim Week 2015, with a few of my fellow bloggers; CousinJin of BelleJheanell, Bianca of ElleBStyles, Missy of PopOfStyle and Crissy of CrissysCorner. We definitely learned a lot this weekend, and I look forward to tagging along next year. While I’m not a fashion blogger, swim wear can definitely play a part in how sexy a woman feels during the summer. I took away a lot of valuable coaching info for my clients. Anywhoo – let’s look at the pics, shall we?

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Miami Swim Week 2015 – Through Vadge Eyes…

Of course, a photo op in front of the Miami skyline had to happen. Even in the daytime, Miami has such a sexy vibe with the hot weather and hot bodies. It was nice to peel away from work to enjoy the perks of being a blogger for a bit.

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It was such a fast-paced day, we didn’t even have time to eat between fashion shows.

One thing I will stress, as I usually do – is to always stay hydrated! When running the Miami streets, it is crucial to keep water in your system. We had coconut water from the sponsors, as well as cold non-alcoholic drinks as we went throughout the venues. If you want to keep your energy up, stay low on sugar intake and drink as much H2O as you can. Trust me, we were sweating like two freaks in a hot box.

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I had to take a pic before we stepped out, because I knew the heat was going to drench me in sweat. The glow from perspiration actually gives a nice flushed look to the face – remember this when taking sexy selfies, lol.

SmartWater and the W Miami Beach Hotel sponsored this poolside fashion show – talk about sexy! The guests were well-dressed and everyone was so tall (I’m only 5’2)!

Check out my blogger girls; BelleJheanell, Elle B. Style, Pop of Style and Crissy’s Corner for full fashion recaps!

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Speed Dating + Singles Mixer with The Cake Shop

After running around South Beach all day, I switched gears (and clothes), and headed out to North Miami Beach for an evening of speed dating. I teamed up with The Cake Shop, Ent. to help Miami’s eligible bachelors and bachelorettes find romance.

We are working together to fill the gap between taken and single. Being single doesn’t have to mean being alone, and it’s totally possible to enjoy the company of other people in your position. Who knows? You may find one that you want to spend more time with…

Little stations were set up for the singles to browse, and I was on call to answer any questions. The dim lighting made it more comfortable to have sexual discussion – and I’m glad some of the daters felt compelled! I was as modest as a sexpert can be; g-spot vibrators, kegel balls + smart balls, Love Oil and pheromone spray was on display. A lil something for everyone *wink*.

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A good friend of mine, Amber came to support with a few of her beautiful lady friends. We definitely enjoyed a night of laughs and $1 jell-o shots. She’s an amazing community advocate as well; check her out at Marks Community Outreach.

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I live vicariously through the single people, so it was great to talk about safe sex and intimacy in a smooth setting. We even raffled off goodies from Koitus Kit for the ladies and gentlemen to enjoy!

It’s so important for single people to remember sexual responsibility. The Koitus Kit allows you to enjoy your day/night while bringing all the essentials with you in a discreet, small package. I’ll be reviewing it this week – stay tuned!

I had an awesome evening; it was great seeing people exchange numbers, hugs and smiles. If you’re single in Miami and haven’t experienced a Cake Shop event – I suggest you get out to one!

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Up Next: Ladies’ Night…

Hey Vadgesters! Here’s a great anonymous question that was submitted by one of my readers.  Bacterial Vaginosis affects many women, and can be caused by many factors. I hope the answer helps more than just her. Take a look!

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“I can’t work myself up to buying a vibrator/dildo, so I use my shower head for self-pleasure. However, I have been getting frequent BV infections. I am sure it is due to the pH imbalance I am causing with the shower head. Is there anything I can do to prevent them without giving up my shower head?”

Bacterial Vaginosis is a tricky infection, because it’s caused by so many different factors. It happens when one bacteria that’s normally found in the vagina begins to take over the others. Everyone has bacteria in their genitals; they help the overall function and cleanliness.

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Read More on BV Here 

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The water pH and force of the water may be irritating the normal environment of the vagina, hence the repeat BV issues. One way to fix this, is to test the pH of your water, and see if it needs to be softened (which costs time and money). This is difficult if you are a renter, because all the water in your building is coming from the same source. I’m not sure the landlord/management company won’t blush if you tell them why you want softer water. Try putting the shower head on a lower setting, or holding it further away from you while enjoying the jets.

Another solution – buy a vibrator. Materials on toys are body-safe and made to be hypo-allergenic. As long as you keep your toy clean, your Bacterial Vaginosis worries shall be no more.  Don’t overwhelm yourself; start off with a simple bullet vibrator since you appear to be an external stimulation kind of woman (hence the shower head).  It’ll give you the vibrations and pulsations of the shower head – without all the potential soreness and irritation.

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Which Vibrator is Right for You?

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If you have any more questions – feel free to email me at kimi@vforvadge.com. I’ll gladly walk you through the toy selection process, and refer you to a few BV treatment options as well.

Got an anonymous question? Keep it really discreet and ask me via Ask.fm.

Resources: 

CDC.gov

As a fairly “new mommy” who had a c-section in 2013, post baby fitness has been one of my top priorities. I know how hard it can be to get our bodies back in order. I’ve tried waist training which has its benefits (Read my review here), but I’ve always been a fitness girl. I enlisted the expertise of Danny Spice over the past few months to help me get my body back – and boy, it’s been a journey. It’s only right I share it with you all – in photos.

Since I moved to Florida from NY in 2005, I have gone from slim to thick but worked hard to maintain my sexy. After giving birth, however, keeping my sexy got a little bit trickier.  I have always been into weight training, but wasn’t finding the balance I needed to keep my body lean and tone up at the same time. Now, enters Danny Spice. His remote training has been a God send, despite my busy schedule and even busier 1.75 year old.

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This was me when I started. I have always had a hard time with under the bra line  and back fat (one of the hardest spots to burn fat). The c-section gave me this little lower belly puff, too. My breasts were around a 42, waist was at around 32 inches, and bottom 44 inches. I don’t usually weigh myself – too stressful and too fluctuating.

Before Training with Spice

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The workouts are intense, but time saving – and will guarantee you to bust a sweat from every pore. Even when I don’t follow the regimen to a t (which I should), I stick with the meal plan and have seen serious results.

Month One, Train With Spice

After the first month, I felt less bloated. The meal plan cut out all the stupid carbs I was wasting my metabolism on (multigrain bagels on my busy blogger days). I stuck to the meal plan vigorously for the first two months and it started getting real! If you look up, you’ll see that my stomach flattened, my back smoothed out a bit and my abs started outlining again. I was ecstatic!

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By May, I was all in. It felt good to start fitting back into clothes I’ve owned for three, four years. Those  Paper,Denim & Cloth camo shorts – pre-baby. Now, I look like they’re mine instead of like I borrowed them from my skinny cousin.

May 2015

This month, I’ve been super busy – but the meal plan never fails. I give myself one cheat day (Saturdays), and still behave by eating lean and avoiding simple carbs (rice, breads, bagels, etc). I actually enjoy making my own food every day and the repetition makes my cheat meal taste that much better.

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 Read More about Sex and Fitness Here…

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I know my sexy is back. My energy levels are up when I’m working out more, and my libido feels renewed every week. The moral of the story is – any increase in physical activity can help transform your body into what you want it to be. It may not be an overnight change, but it can be done. If you need an extra push in the right direction – a personal trainer is well worth the investment. Even though I’m in Florida and TWS in NY – remote training is working really well for me. On my off days, I pair up with my gym partner or go to yoga to mix it up a little. Even the sexpert needs a kick in the pants every once in a while.

Check out Train With Spice Here – tell him Kimi sent you! 

No, this is not a paid advertisement – I actually paid him for his services… 

Newly Single | Diary of an Ex-Fiance

Newly single and loving every minute. As a man that is coming out of a 7 year relationship there tons of amazing thoughts roaming free. I finally have the ability to do, think, and say what ever it is I want. Finally I can go home to an empty home, see no one I love, and imagine how much joy it brought speaking to those no longer there. More over I get to be scared and confused about these feelings I don’t understand without the comfort of the person I was most vulnerable with. Better yet I can only hear ghosts of playful laughter and view tokens left by my seeds. Those I helped create, raise, and develop will forever weigh on my heart as I wain from their memories. Best yet I can feel like a failure thanks to the destruction of my relationship only 8 months before our wedding date and forever losing the ability to be a father to MY children.

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So yeah, I’m only here for the bitches and the drinks. All we do is fuck, drink, and sleep. Most men can’t handle failure in relationships. We act out and usually search and accept comfort from any woman willing to share it. We yearn for that intimacy only found from that woman we loved so much.  So women and sex are things we’ll gravitate towards because it is the closest thing to what we’ve lost. I find myself being more attracted to women with children or those who want children probably in hopes they can fill this gaping hole. The physical pain associated with this heartache is real and at times brings me to my knees but a woman under my arms or sliding on and off my penis would do a great deal to help diminish or subdue this hurt.

Dog or pig I am not. What I am is a product of a broken home and a false belief that boys shouldn’t or can’t express how they feel. I don’t know what to do with how I feel. I don’t know how to feel. I don’t know how to show how I feel. I know that the embrace of a woman comforts me. I know that sex feels good. I know that together they should make me feel better.

Kareem Wright.

Can you imagine if that same but heated up on its own and twerked? Behold – the Twerking Butt.

I know, you’ve seen adult toys before. There are even realistic, butt-shaped toys with fleshlights inside that you’d never know were fake if under the covers.

What is twerking, you may ask?

It’s a rhythmic, repetetive butt bouncing motion that was actually made famous by Atlanta dance group – the Twerk Team. Later on, it was attempted (I can’t even say emulated), then thrust into mainstream music videos by Miley Cyrus.  This move, if done right, can create intense sensation during sexual activity and may even work as a great warm up if you’re dancing together beforehand. 

Enough of my rambling, I’ll let PornHub explain how it works….

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Pornhub Launches TwerkingButt, a New Sensual Device That Blurs the Lines Between Cyber Fantasy and Passionate Reality 

Adult Site Enters the World of Sex Tech with the Launch of a Revolutionary Interactive Adult Toy Meant to Deliver Ultimate Lifelike Sexual Simulation 

New York, NY (July 9, 2015) – Pornhub, the premier online destination for adult entertainment, today announced the launch of its brand new interactive sex toy, the TwerkingButt in partnership with Topco Sales, a leading global adult novelty manufacturer. Designed to provide the ultimate experience in interactive cyber passion, the device features multiple twerking patterns, customizable rhythms, massage speeds, sensual vibrations, and simulated body heat, which can all be custom controlled with the included remote or via your smart phone/tablet (Android or iOS). The TwerkingButt is slated to be officially unveiled to the public at the ANME tradeshow, which is to be held in Burbank, California on July 12^th – 14^th, 2015.

“We can barely contain our excitement for the new TwerkingButt,” says Corey Price, Vice President, Pornhub. “I think we can honestly say that the release of our new product will mark a new benchmark in the convergence of emerging technology and immersive pleasure to deliver one of the most lifelike sexual simulation experiences on the market today.”

The TwerkingButt was developed to replicate the feeling of real intimate contact thanks to its patented CyberSkin technology which warms to an exact body temperature of 98.6 degrees, while also providing ideal levels of friction, elasticity and softness that’s as near to the human sexual experience as possible.

“It took us over 4 years to bring TwerkingButt from concept to reality. Our development team worked tirelessly to combine the latest wireless, APP, and optical technologies as well as our patented Cyberskin, which simulates the sensual feel of true skin-to-skin contact.” says Jimmy Wyne, Director at Topco Sales.

Also included with the product is custom virtual reality goggles and 3D content for a truly immersive experience. Using the TwerkingButt’s companion app, a user can control every aspect of their adventure, from motion to music. This means that the device’s rhythmic vibrations can be synchronized to users’ musical playlists to help achieve peak performance in the palm of one’s hand.

After its scheduled unveiling, the TwerkingButt will hit retail shelves in August, and will be stocked at adult shops both nationwide and internationally. The device will be available in two different versions: classic ($699.00) and deluxe ($999.00). The TwerkingButt companion app, which can be found on Google Play and the iTunes App Store is available free of charge as alternative means of device operation contrary to the wired remote that comes paired with the product itself.

Note: TwerkingButts are currently being sold for a special discounted price for one week only to kick off their announcement. “Classic” units are being sold for $499 (regularly $699) and “deluxe” units for $799 (regularly $999).