A federal judge ruled Friday that the government must make the most common morning-after pill available over the counter for all ages, instead of requiring a prescription for girls 16 and younger. In his ruling, he also accused the federal government of “bad faith” in dealing with the requests to make the pill universally available, and said its actions had been politically motivated.

 The decision, on a fraught and politically controversial subject, comes after a decade-long fight over who should have access to the pill and under what circumstances. And it counteracts an unprecedented move by the Obama administration’s Health and Human Services secretary, Kathleen Sebelius, who in 2011 overruled a recommendation by the Food and Drug Administration to make the pill available for all ages without a prescription.

In a decision in a lawsuit filed by advocates, the judge, Edward R. Korman of Federal District Court, ruled that the government’s refusal to lift restrictions on access to the pill was “arbitrary, capricious, and unreasonable.”

Judge Korman ordered the F.D.A. to lift any age and sale restrictions on the pill, Plan B One-Step, and its generic versions, within 30 days.

“More than 12 years have passed since the citizen petition was filed and 8 years since this lawsuit commenced,” the judge wrote. “The F.D.A. has engaged in intolerable delays in processing the petition. Indeed, it could accurately be described as an administrative agency filibuster.”

He added, “The plaintiffs should not be forced to endure, nor should the agency’s misconduct be rewarded by, an exercise that permits the F.D.A. to engage in further delay and obstruction.”

The F.D.A. and the Department of Health and Human Services declined to comment on the ruling or the judge’s harsh criticisms on Friday morning or to indicate whether the government would file an appeal, saying the decision, which was issued in the Eastern District of New York, was being reviewed. The Justice Department would only say it was reviewing the opinion.

Scientists, including those at the F.D.A., have been recommending unrestricted access for years, as have major medical groups, including the American Medical Association, the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and the American Academy of Pediatrics. They contend that the restrictions effectively keep many adolescents and younger teenagers from being able to use a safe drug in a timely way to prevent pregnancy, which carries greater safety risks than the morning-after pill.

In 2011, the F.D.A. commissioner, Dr. Margaret A. Hamburg, issued a statement saying that after rigorous study, it was safe to sell Plan B One-Step over the counter for all ages. But she was overruled by Ms. Sebelius, the Health and Human Services secretary, the first time such a public countermanding had ever occurred.

In her decision, Ms. Sebelius said that Plan B’s manufacturer had failed to study whether the drug was safe for girls as young as 11, about 10 percent of whom are physically able to bear children. But her decision was widely interpreted in a political context because emergency contraception has become an issue in the abortion debate and because allowing freer access to adolescents would prompt critics to accuse the Obama administration of supporting sexual activity for girls of that age. At the time, President Obama supported Ms. Sebelius’s decision, saying, “I will say this, as the father of two daughters: I think it is important for us to make sure that we apply some common sense to various rules when it comes to over-the-counter medicine.”

He added: “And as I understand it, the reason Kathleen made this decision was she could not be confident that a 10-year-old or an 11-year-old going into a drugstore should be able — alongside bubble gum or batteries — be able to buy a medication that potentially, if not used properly, could end up having an adverse effect. And I think most parents would probably feel the same way.”

The drug’s manufacturer, Teva Pharmaceuticals, declined to comment on the court decision handed down Friday. As far back as 2003, the manufacturer had petitioned the F.D.A. for Plan B to be available over the counter.

Plan B was approved in 1999 as a prescription-only product, and in 2001, the Center for Reproductive Rights filed a citizens petition for it to be made available over the counter or without a prescription. Scientists, including an expert advisory panel to the F.D.A., gave early support to that request. But top F.D.A. officials rejected the application because, some said later, they worried they would be fired if they approved it.

After years of F.D.A. delay on a promise to reconsider the morning-after pill decision, and as the lawsuit by advocates wound its way through the courts, the Bush administration in 2006 allowed over-the-counter sales to women 18 and older but required a prescription for those 17 and younger. Then in 2009, Judge Korman issued a ruling in the court case directing that the pill be made available over the counter for those 17 and older. In his 2009 ruling, the judge said the government’s actions on the pill had been driven by politics and not science.

In his ruling on Friday, Judge Korman also raised the issue of politics, saying that Ms. Sebelius’s decision was “politically motivated, scientifically unjustified, and contrary to agency precedent.”

Plan B One-Step consists of one pill with the active ingredient levonorgestrel, which can block fertilization if taken within 72 hours of sexual intercourse. It reduces the chance of pregnancy to one in 40; without the pill, women have about a one in 20 chance of becoming pregnant after unprotected sex. Two other drugs — Next Choice and Levonorgestrel Tablets — contain levonorgestrel in a two-pill version. The judge’s order also applies to those pills, although he said that if the F.D.A. ” actually believes there is any significant difference between the one- and two-pill products, it may limit its over-the-counter approval to the one-pill product.”

Thoughts? Comments?

Sources: 

NY Times:  Judge Strikes Down Age Limits on Morning-After Pill

It’s a rumor I’ve heard before, even prior to “catching pregnant”; “pregnant sex is the best sex.” I, of course, wouldn’t be able to verify this until I became pregnant myself. I won’t lie, it’s a lot different from being without child  – I actually felt my first motion of the baby after an afternoon “playdate” with hubby. I suppose all the activity surrounding the baby excited it, too – which made it ironic and slightly awkward, lol. 

Is it better? I’d say yes. My body’s different; my breasts are plump(er) and even perkier than before. My butt’s grown a few inches and is rounder than it’s ever been. Hair’s growing and has such a great sheen to it, and don’t forget the glow – how can I not feel sexy right now? 

On the biological side of things, a woman’s libido (sexual energy) is known to go up with the rise in estrogen and other hormones during pregnancy. 

Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright says: “Whether it’s her first or second trimester, some women experience increased sexual urges, at levels exceeding pre-pregnancy. During the second trimester in particular, many feel hot to trot for reasons far beyond their control. The vulva seems to have a mind of its own. Mother Nature is revving up a pregnant woman’s sex drive with increased vaginal lubrication, larger breasts, and increased vasocongestion (the flow of blood to the genitals) for heightened vulval sensitivity and a swollen, often to the point of aching, clitoris. A woman is literally a hot mama passion playground for her — and her partner — to enjoy.”

The next question is – how far along can you go into the pregnancy while having sex? 

As long as you have the doctor’s approval, you can have sex right up to the point that she goes into labor. But you’ll have to alter your positions of choice as her pregnancy progresses in the second and third trimesters.

For instance, after the fourth month, it is not longer safe for her to lie flat on her back because the weight of the growing uterus puts pressure on major blood vessels.

Check out some of these moves that may make your sessions a little more comfortable for all three of you…

First Trimester Positions: 1-3 Months

The T-Square: She lies flat on her back, you lie perpendicular on your side, forming a T-square shape. This is safe until about month four.

On the Edge of Missionary: Lie her on her back at the side or foot of the bed with her knees bent, and her feet perched at the edge of the mattress. You can either kneel or stand in front of her. This also should not be performed after the fourth month.

From the middle to the end, positioning gets even better…

Second Trimester Positions: 4-6 Months

The Cowgirl: Basically this is the well-known and loved “woman on top” position. This is great during pregnancy because it allows her to control the pace and depth of penetration and it puts no weight on her abdomen.

Have a Seat: Sit in a chair and have her sit on your lap and enter her from a sitting position. This puts no weight on the uterus and gives her lots of control. She can either sit facing you or facing away.

The Perp Search: She leans against a wall facing away from you with arms and legs spread, as if you’re about to frisk her from behind.

Third Trimester Positions: 7-9 Months

Spoon Man: You lie on your side, with your knees bent while she lies on her side, with her back pressed against you, her legs slightly parted and her knees bent.

Leap Frog: This is her on all fours, like doggy style but with one major change: She rests her arms and head on the mattress. That way, it’s easier to hold up the weight of her stomach.

Remember: If intercourse is deemed too risky, you can always resort to oral sex alone.

When to stop

She should know at what month to stop having sex, as the doctor will advise her about it. But if you need to be sure, accompany her to her doctor’s appointments.

Some doctors recommend that all women stop having sex during the final weeks of pregnancy. This is just as a safety precaution, because semen contains a chemical that may actually stimulate contractions.

Most doctors advise that you stop having sexual intercourse with her if she is at risk of:

• A premature birth or labor
• A condition called placenta pravia (Where part of the placenta is covering the cervix)

What to expect during & after sex

Sometimes we feel responsible if pregnant women have certain symptoms or pains during or after having sex that they normally wouldn’t feel. But they are not caused by you per se, but rather the situation. These symptoms could include cramps, abdominal pain or even light contractions.

• Women often experience mild contractions during sex and when having an orgasm, but these contractions are false alarms, and are not powerful enough to start labor unless it’s imminent. These contractions may continue for about half an hour after sex. They are not dangerous to her or the baby.

• Her uterus may experience spasms during sex which are different from contractions. This is normal and not dangerous.

• She may feel some pain during or after sex if the fetus’ head is situated deep in her pelvis. This is not worrisome.

• She may get cramps during and after an orgasm. Sometimes this is combined with a backache. This is to be expected and is not a sign of any problem.

Labor of love

Sex can be quite pleasurable while she’s pregnant, for you and for her. Unless the doctor tells her otherwise, sex during pregnancy is safe for her and the baby. So don’t feel bad about indulging.

Sources:

 http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,317693,00.html

http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_250/259b_love_tip.html

http://pregnancy.about.com
www.babyworld.co.uk
www.babycentre.co.uk

“Does ejaculation always accompany an orgasm? or is it possible to ejaculate without or prior to getting an orgasm?”

Excellent question. As human beings, we may assume that the two acts go hand in hand. Scientifically and biologically speaking however, there are ways for the body to create one without the other. “The Frisky’s” writer, Kate Hakala goes into detail about how you can orgasm without ejaculation or vice versa. I have highlighted the meat of the answer for you 🙂 

Think back to when your parents first told you, as you uncomfortably sat across from them on the couch with sweaty palms, about the birds and the bees. Your mom told you a sweet little tale about how a sperm meets an egg, the egg is fertilized, a baby grows in her stomach, and in nine months, it is miraculously born. Did she skip the part about, “By the way, a man can have an orgasm without ejaculating, and he can ejaculate without having an orgasm?” I thought so.

While defining the female orgasm is often met with consternation, most of us see the male orgasm as pretty straight forward. But it isn’t always. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not the same process when men orgasm and when they ejaculate.

Let’s define the big O so we are all on the same page.

An orgasm is the peak in sexual excitement during the sexual response cycle, characterized by a release in sexual tension, often immense pleasure, and muscle contractions in the genital region. Orgasm can also come along with increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, increased respiration, and possible spasms in the extremities. The degree of an orgasm can vary due to state of mind, physical factors, and in all honesty, randomness.

Whereas, ejaculation is the release of semen out of the tip of the penis. It sounds like a little more confetti and a lot less party, but it does propagate the species. While not always, ejaculation and orgasm are found together more often than not.

But, what about those times when sex play with a man leads to euphoria, but you look down, and all that’s come out are metaphorical tumbleweeds?

A dry orgasm can happen intentionally and not so intentionally. A well trained pubococcygeal muscle (PC) can lead to orgasm without ejaculation. The PC muscle goes from the pubic bone to the coccyx horizontally, creating a comfy hammock of a pelvic floor. It controls urine flow as well as involuntarily contractions during orgasm (note: not ejaculation). By voluntarily contracting the PC muscles during Kegel exercises, both men and women can strengthen their perineal core. Not only will we be less likely to pee our pants, but doctors say this helps with erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and—ding, ding, ding—orgasming without ejaculating.

While we wouldn’t boast about our reps at the gym, keeping up with Kegel exercises has some big benefits for both genders—the potential to make us come harder and have more control over our entire downstairs area. For men, it can also mean the ability to release semen at greater distances.  If men flex this muscle right before they feel they are about to ejaculate, they can sometimes have an orgasm without coming. How can a guy feel his PC muscle working? He can feel the muscles he uses to stop peeing mid-stream, and when he isn’t in the bathroom, tighten and release that same muscle. He can try this at first on his own, or with a partner, but it may take tempered breathing, practice, time, determination, and a bit of self restraint to reap the benefits of this southern work out.

A big benefit of becoming a master of one’s man parts? It can mean multiple orgasms for men. After a man ejaculates, there is a refractory period—a recovery stage of the sexual response cycle—in which he cannot ejaculate again and most likely will want a snooze. He may be able to get an erection, but there is a bit of a waiting period that’s different for all men, sometimes minutes and sometimes a day, before he can actually produce semen again. While ejaculation causes the need for a refractory period, orgasm does not. Because of this, it has been documented that when some sexually precocious young boys play with themselves before they hit puberty, the young lads will be pleasantly surprised to find they can orgasm without ejaculating. This can be achieved with the older set as well.

Doctors use the term “ejaculatory inevitability” to describe the point of no return in which a man has reached a threshold of sexual excitement in which he will and must ejaculate. If a man can continually bring himself almost to the point of no return, and then back away, he can experience the muscle contractions associated with orgasm up until he finally does ejaculate. And when he finally does reach orgasm, it might feel even deeper and more incredible than the usual market brand. Men with a quick sexual refractory period, but maybe less baby batter in their stores, also have the potential to achieve dry orgasm shortly after initial orgasm accompanied by ejaculation. In both cases, the effect is akin to the multiple orgasms experienced by some women.

What could be the downside to all this glorious orgasm without jizzing? Retrograde ejaculation. Yes, I just said that. That’s when semen flows backwards into the bladder through the urethra instead of coming out the normal spout. A man will feel all the pleasures of orgasm, but no fluid will have been released. After this has happened, the man experiencing this Marty McFly retro splooge might notice his pee is a little cloudy. Retrograde ejaculation can be a side effect of diabetes, multiple sclerosis, or men who just had prostate surgery. So, if this keeps up, get thee to a doctor.

What about the other side of things, when a guy is gushing, but there there is a marked absence of pleasure?

Most of us know the realm of male sexual dysfunction can involve premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, and impotence, but anorgasmic ejaculation, or ejaculation without climax, is rarely spoken of. If a man suffers from this, libido and erectile quality are usually not impeded. The sexual activity of an anorgasmic ejaculator is regular until a peak is reached during sex, he releases sperm, and ejaculates, but doesn’t receive the usual sensations of an orgasm. In other words, he goes to Splash Mountain without the trip to Magic Kingdom.

You might have rolled your eyes when your health teacher said it, but the brain really is the most important sexual organ. Orgasm is a process of the brain, whereas ejaculation is very much a bodily response. So, your head has to be in the game for your whole sexual response system to be in working order. That’s why anorgasmic ejaculation, though sometimes attributed to spinal nerve damage and recovery from pelvic surgery, is most commonly caused by psychological factors. It is associated with stress, anxiety, use of antidepressants, alcoholism, depression, emotional problems, performance anxiety, or trauma. Things like stress and depression can weigh on the mind and slowly work their way down to the penis. Sometimes, the issue is not the absence of an orgasm in the man as much as the absence of feeling it happen. The best way to approach this problem is by consulting a doctor, possibly seeking therapy, and working his way past whatever mental blocks are fighting off the feel-good sensors in his body.

Guys out there—remember, whether you’re coming without sperm, with sperm, or only sperm, you still need to practice safe sex and have an open dialogue. There is and always will be an exception to every human body’s rule, especially when you’re fiddling around with baby-making instruments. It’s loopholes like dry orgasms and wet no-gasms that help keep the world interesting. There will always be newfangled ways to make the beast with two backs. The best news of all is that whether it is the brain or the groin, doctors say the most successful way to cure what ails you is always exercise, exercise, exercise.

For more information on controlling your PC muscles (also known as Kegels) – click here.

Sources:

http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-06-08/dry-orgasm-retrograde-ejaculation-other-things-you-never-knew-about-the-male-o/

Our newest guest writer, Charlie, puts a spin on the Coming Out experience. Another example of how different people can share the same experiences.

Coming out, to many of my friends as well as myself is viewed as a thing of the past. There have been a series of trials and triumphs that people of the Queer community have faced and later prevailed that there should be no need for one to “come out”. Unfortunately for many of us, coming out is not a declaration that is made once or twice. In each one of our settings including but not limited to our schools, churches, homes and wherever else we allow our beings to reside creates a place for us to declare ourselves as “out”.

My coming out story is not one that is neatly packaged with bows and ribbons but rather in newspaper, no bows and the package bursting at the seams. Growing up in between the two boroughs of Harlem and Brooklyn New York, I would overhear the word gay. From lack of anything but the basis of context clues, I concluded that only men could be “gay”. I never knew of anything outside of gay and straight. It wasn’t until around 7^th grade when a female classmate sat on my lap during gym class while confessing she was bi-sexual, did I know any other form sexual identity existed. I had crushes on females since kindergarten where I was always forced to play the role of the baby during playtime. But little did I know, I wasn’t gay because I was not a man loving another man. After further researching my new learned term bi-sexual, I came out in school to my peers as bi-sexual. Although I had researched the definition, I was unprepared for the glares of people who believed that I was nasty for admitting openly that I liked females and males. All I knew was that the girl who sat on my lap and first peaked my interest as to exploring my sexuality, gave me my first lesbian kiss. In the words of Katy Perry “I kissed a girl and I liked it”. Some people accused me of being greedy and curious. Of course I took offense and stood my ground. But due to the pressure I felt to choose whether I preferred men or women more decreased the confidence needed to declare my bisexuality to anyone else. On a more positive note, during this time was when I met my first openly gay man. He was a grade above me but he was open about being feminine, having crushes on male celebrities and only hanging with the girls. He was only the tip of the iceberg of my experience with other folks of the queer community.

In high school I dated a female for the first time. I still identified as bi-sexual because I had yet to actually have sex with another female. At the time, the rumor was that lesbians were women who only liked having sex with other women. During that time, I only had sex with males and physically enjoyed the experience. In the same breath, I would find myself fantasizing about women, during sex with men and any other chance I got. I finally gained the courage to take the leap of faith and had sex with a female which was promptly followed by a phone call to my best friends at the time stating that I was definitely a lesbian. From then on, I continued to have full blown relationships with women, some sexual, others not. But it was a serious blow to the males I dated prior to this statement. I swiftly broke up with the guy I was dating, informed all of my ex’s with confidence and awaited the guilt trips I knew I would receive. Some of them took it lightly, others would use insults and the Bible to convince me that what I had decided was unnatural and against God. It seems today, just as it did back then that it was all in the effort to have sex with me again. With my new found relationship and identity as a lesbian, came the urge to inform my parents of the changes and trials I was facing and exploring. Although it could have been worse, it got pretty bad. My mother felt like I was forcing my new found identity down her throat, using it to embarrass her. Other family members were convinced that God and some “good dick” would “cure” me. A select few peers and others believed I only liked women because they thought that women knew how to treat other women. Most of the popular guys in school ignored me or disliked me. Regardless of the struggle of being a lesbian, another hurdle presented itself when I began to purchase my own attire which so happened to consist of men’s clothing. In the eyes of peers and my family, I was on a path to hell with intentions of being a man. Obviously, I was highly naive in believing that this wouldn’t add fuel to the fire. Fortunately, the storm eased up a bit when I entered college; at least at school.

I entered college identifying as lesbian, dating women who were masculine centered yet uncomfortable as to how to explain being a masculine centered female who dated other masculine centered females. I have always been pretty comfortable being feminine and somewhat unaware as to how masculine I actually was. My search for some understanding and much of my exploration flourished and was nurtured in a Downelink chat room with other women who identified as lesbians. Many did not fit the mold of hetero normative structure within their relationships, others that did, found themselves exiting just as quickly as they entered. The social networking site became my first real insight as to who I was sexually. It provided resources of various plays on gender roles and relationship structures. Stating who the man was in the lesbian relationship became common knowledge to be an extremely nonsensical question. The chat room was the first time I had spoken to transsexual women and men as well as older women who still identified as being dykes. Collectively we identified ourselves as Studs for Studs or S4S. When I say I met these people, I mean that we spoke as well as became highly involved in one another’s lives literally. To most people outside of the chat room, I was weird and “gayer” than usual. In their minds, I was a woman who was portraying a man with other women who did the same.

Throughout college I have learned to release myself from the boxes I have been checked into. The struggles continues with my family as to the “phase” I am still going through. But I love who I love. I pride myself on having that right as well as that option and I use it freely. I enjoy a mix of physical masculinity and emotional femininity, but those vary just as does my own femininity and masculinity. In the end, there is no one and nothing to come out to but yourself.

-Charlene “Charlie” Trotman

It’s a potential game changer in the fight against HIV, and doctors say it happened almost by accident.

A baby with the virus that causes AIDS was given high doses of three antiretroviral drugs within 30 hours of her birth. Doctors knew the mother was HIV positive and administered the drugs in hopes of controlling the virus.

Two years later, there is no evidence of HIV in the child’s blood.

The Mississippi girl is the first child to be “functionally cured” of HIV, researchers announced Sunday. They said they believe early intervention with the antiretroviral drugs was key to the outcome.

A “functional cure” is when the presence of the virus is so small, lifelong treatment is not necessary and standard clinical tests cannot detect the virus in the blood.

The finding was announced at the 2013 Conference on Retroviruses and Opportunistic Infections in Atlanta.

The unidentified girl was born HIV positive to a mother who received no prenatal care and was not diagnosed as HIV positive herself until just before delivery.

“We didn’t have the opportunity to treat the mom during the pregnancy as we would like to be able do to prevent transmission to the baby,” said Dr. Hannah Gay, a pediatric HIV specialist at the University of Mississippi Medical Center.

Gay told CNN the timing of intervention — before the baby’s HIV diagnosis — may deserve “more emphasis than the particular drugs or number of drugs used.”

“We are hoping that future studies will show that very early institution of effective therapy will result in this same outcome consistently,” she said on the eve of the Atlanta conference.

High-risk exposure

Dr. Katherine Luzuriaga, an immunologist at the University of Massachusetts who worked closely with Gay, called the developments fascinating, including the fact that the toddler was found to have no virus in her blood even after her mother stopped giving her treatment for eight to 10 months.

“This is the very first case in which we’ve conclusively been able to document that the baby was infected and then after a period of treatment has been able to go off treatment without viral rebound,” Luzuriaga told CNN.

Once it was determined the Mississippi mother was HIV positive, Gay immediately began giving the infant antiretroviral drugs upon the baby’s delivery in an attempt to control HIV infection.

via CNN.com

The toddler is now considered “functionally cured” as doctors are not currently treating her for AIDS or HIV. The possibility remains that the virus may have left tiny remnants in the body and could possibly return, which is why she will be monitored by doctors over the course of her life.  

Sources: 

http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/03/health/hiv-toddler-cured/index.html

I have a question for your website ..

What is female ejaculation made of and where exactly does it “squirt” from?

Excellent question! As women become more in tune with their bodies, they are able to differentiate out what makes them feel good from what makes them feel REAL GOOD. Female ejaculation comes from various levels of stimulation that may occur differently in each woman. Finding what works for you may take a little practice and a lot of exploration…

 —-

Like Stonehenge, solar eclipses, and countless other wonders of nature, female ejaculation has provoked both awe and controversy. Because the fluid in question is expelled from the urethra upon orgasm, many researchers, women, and their partners believed that the phenomena of female ejaculation was really just a loss of bladder control. The book, The G Spot, by sex researcher and educator Beverly Whipple, Alice Ladas, and John Perry, broke through the silence and embarrassment that surrounded female ejaculate, leading many to G Spot joy.

—-

Now researchers believe that female cum is produced by the Skene’s glands, which are located near a woman’s urethra and are made of tissue that’s similar in composition to a man’s prostate gland. These researchers point to chemical analysis of female ejaculate that reveals the presence of high levels of prostatic acid phosphatase (a chemical secreted by the prostate gland and found in semen). This would seem to indicate that a woman’s ejaculation is similar in composition to semen — without the sperm, of course. Female ejaculate is not pee. It’s generally clear or somewhat milky, nearly odorless, and maybe a little sweet.

—-

Although modern science may not know exactly yet what female ejaculation is, women who experience it, and the intense orgasms that usually accompany it, are only too happy to conduct their own experiments, and direct partners with cries of, “Oh, yes, right there… THERE!”

 Read: “Squirting 101 – Can You Master the Phenomenon?”

—-

Sources:

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/female-ejaculate-where-does-it-come

http://www.youtube.com

http://alcarabiya.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/gspot.jpg

http://www.jimbenson.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/choosing_when_to_pop_your_cork-300×265.jpg

Typically, applying hair dye to the “nether region” is a medical no-no. Unless your skin is the same thickness of a boar or hippo, you’ll be burned straight to the emergency room. Ingredients such as ammonia and bleach are harmful for the dermis, especially the delicate and thin skin protecting our vaginas. However, there is a great alternative on the market that is taking the Vadge world by storm; Brown Betty’s “Color for the hair down there.” Check out an Oprah approved review of the product – then decide if it’s the right dye for you.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/style/Brown-Betty-We-Tried-It-So-You-Dont-Have-To#ixzz2KeWG3bAh

“I think I have a question for your site! How do explain where babies come from to a 5 year old!! Lol”

This is an excellent question! Talking about the Birds and the Bees with children can be a serious task, but it’s not impossible. My first encounter was with my sister who was seven at the time. We went to a local zoo, and the howler monkeys happened to be having sex when we stopped there. Full on action – I was mortified! My sister looked at me and said “Are they having sex?” I smiled and told her yes. She paused, looked at me again and said “What’s sex?” 

Awww man. 

It was a quick, comfortable and effective conversation that I’m honored to share with you all. Following a few basic rules and tips can eliminate this problem for another 13 years 🙂

1. Keep it Mature

Do you call  your child’s genitalia a “hoo hoo?” “Tea kettle?” “pokie?” While pet names can be more comfortable for the parent, it is essential that children know and understand their body parts at an early age. In case of an emergency, your child should be able to describe their injury in detail.

“I fell on a rock and hurt my pokie” is not as detailed as “I fell and hurt my vagina.”

2. Keep it Simple

“Mommy? Where do babies come from?”

“Well, honey – sometimes when a man and woman love each other, they do something that is called sex.”

“What’s sex?”

“Sex is when a man puts his penis in a woman’s vagina. Sometimes when they have sex, they make babies.”

“What’s a penis and a vagina?”

3. Get Familiar

When was the last time you looked at a genital diagram? Knowing the anatomies of a penis and a vagina are crucial to the talk. Kids know when we don’t know what we’re talking about – make sure you do.

The Vagina:

No, you don’t have to tell your five year old about the mons pubis or labia menor. The goal is to make sure he/she identifies what the entire unit is by sight.

“This is a vagina. Girls have vaginas; they use them to pee and when they become women they can use them to have sex.”

“Babies come out of a woman’s vagina.”

They may point to various parts and ask what they are. Answer them as best you can, in the simplest, to-the-point way possible.

The Labia keep dirt out of the vagina, because it likes to be clean. 

The Urethra is where pee comes from. 

The anus is for making number two. (You can call that poop or doo doo if you’d like) 

Most five year-olds are not big on reading, so don’t expect them to point to big words and ask what they are. Simplicity is key.

The Penis:

“This is a penis. Men have penises; they use them to pee and when they become men to have sex.”

“Mommy? What is that ball right there?”

“That is a testicle; men keep their sperm in there. Sperm goes in a woman and makes babies.”

How?

To be continued…

To view the enlarged version of each diagram:

Vagina Diagram 

Penis Diagram

This week’s guest writer chronicles his quest to find understanding outside the closet…

Coming Out: A Process of Self-Discovery, Ownership and Affirmation

I remember it was a cloudy day in April; I was a senior in high school at the time. The school day had ended quite early as was usually the case for us seniors who were given the privilege of more relaxed class schedules. A friend and I were walking toward the Q64 bus stop when he asked me a question of the sort that I’ve always dreaded being asked, “so which of girls of our class are you interested in?” It was the kind of question many, if not all, guys that age have been asked at one point or another and are expected to answer proudly without hesitation. And many do so but I’ve long known I was not like many guys in that regard. Already, I could feel the beating of my heart pick up pace just a bit- at least that’s what I thought. Usually, I’d lie or sheepishly smile without saying anything in a futile effort to divert attention but this time I wanted to take a different approach. Without giving it too much thought, I answered, “none,” smiling uncomfortably. “What do you mean none? You’re a guy; you have a penis. There’s got to be someone…You know, I wanna see you with a girlfriend, man. I’m gonna’ try to set you up with one, what do ya say?” After another awkward exchange I was finally able to muster enough courage to tell him the truth, “I’m gay”.

Quite frankly, I don’t recall whatever it was in that moment that possessed me to willingly embrace the degree of vulnerability I’d never dared to face before then; at the time, my friend identified strongly as a conservative Republican and I wasn’t sure I was ready to handle what I’d potentially set myself up against. But he wasn’t that person I was afraid of. To my surprise, he was actually quite offended that I had taken, as he saw it, far too long to disclose that information; that in turn led to another awkward exchange. Needless to say, the first time I decided to come out to someone other than myself was by no means perfect but in retrospect it was one of the best days of my life. Since then that friend has become one of my closest of friends and we still talk to this day.

Coming out is not something you do only once; it isn’t a single event that forever alleviates one of the decision to disclose that aspect of oneself to others. Because of our heterosexist society- one in which it is already presumed that one is straight regardless of one’s sexuality, an LGBT person may quite conceivably come out many times over the course of his or her life. That’s what it means to be queer, in part. Case in point, I decided to come out in a very public way via Facebook a couple of months ago. Not only was this the first time I decided to share that part of me with so many people at once and in that public a way but also, and perhaps more importantly, it was the first time I reached out to family members other than my own mother. I like to think of coming out as a process of self-discovery, ownership and affirmation.

Generally, my family and friends were very receptive to my personal revelation; many sent me personal texts reassuring me that I had their love and support but there was at least one moment in which I was put on the defensive. In particular, the manner in which I chose to disclose my sexual orientation was interrogated: I was asked whether I considered how others such as future employers will perceive me and that perhaps it would have been better that I told my family members in person rather than broadcast this information so publicly; that the fact that I announced this truth about myself in such a way may have rendered certain relations irreparable. I was not surprised by this response; because I was ready to share the truth about my sexual orientation I was prepared to face that kind of response and far worse.

That someone may treat me poorly because of my sexuality is not an indictment on me but on that person in the same way if I were being abused or mistreated on the basis of my skin pigmentation. I’m not going to change my sexuality because some folk still find it offensive or morally wrong. It’s not an option; my sexuality is a fact about me. If sexuality were in anyway a choice it is not plausibly the same as choosing what flavor ice cream you want to eat: think about a person or any set of persons you’re attracted to and then try to not have that response. Think about a person or any set of persons you’re not attracted to and try to feel attraction. If you’re anything like me, which is most likely the case, such exercises are rather pointless. Of course, I want to be careful not to reduce matters of sexuality to mere attraction but the main point here is that my homosexuality is a fact about how I experience the world; that’s an empirically verifiable understanding of sexuality that ought to be taken seriously. Part of the frustration of being gay in this society is that at the level of both popular and political discourse, the idea that people like me are somehow mistaken about our own first person subjective experiences is still given respectability. My rights to equal and fair housing, employment, protection from violence and discrimination among other things depend upon the opinions of those who remain ignorant, often willfully so, about sexuality. As Jay Michaelson so eloquently stated, the fundamental battle that underlies the gay rights movement is the fight for the right to “self-definition, to say I exist-and to be believed.”

Ideally, I would have wanted to come out to each and every family member personally. There’s nothing like that one on one interaction, the awkward give and take, and all the anxiety that comes with such an encounter. It’s a very uncomfortable experience but in the end, luckily for me at least, the world becomes more human. When I came out to my high school friend we both shared something about ourselves in that moment; of course, I trusted my friend with the most intimate of all personal information but he showed me the depth of his friendship and love. Coming out is a bilateral and reciprocal experience; the people you come out to come out to you as well in a sense. And often what causes someone anxiety when making the decision to come out is that one does not necessarily know how others will receive one especially if they have treated the topic of homosexuality negatively or remained silent on the issue. To come out is often to make a leap of faith; the faith that the other will embrace you when you’re most vulnerable. I am the son of Afro-Caribbean immigrants and was raised in a highly Christian inflected community. Growing up, I became very familiar with negative attitudes concerning homosexuality whether at home, family gatherings, Sunday school –in spite of attending a more liberal denomination-and from teachers and peers until high school. What made coming out to myself so painful and difficult was, in large part, that I had internalized all of the attitudes I learned to accept as normative.

The decision to come out was not one that I ever took lightly. I knew when I first came out that I had to tell my family that I’m gay: it’s only fair to them and me that they know who I really am. Coming out is a chance for me to be loved for who I am, freely, without any pretenses. But the decision to come out is mine to make; I do have a say in how and when I disclose that information. Moreover, given the history and status of being LGBT, it’s my belief that anyone who faces the decision to come out owes that much to themselves; as queer people we have the right to analyze our own situations and make the best decisions for ourselves. In my case, I did not feel obligated to come out personally to each and every one of my family members because I do not share that kind of interactive relationship with all of them. I don’t share any common experiences at all with many of them let alone anything so intimate as my coming out; I doubted they would have expected me to do otherwise. Honestly, if anyone ended all ties to me supposedly on the basis of the way I came out there were more problems in that relationship to begin with; namely that, they weren’t as connected as they thought themselves to be and don’t care to learn more about me whatever the circumstance. But even if that were not the case, life is too short to waste it on people who don’t love you. I made a conscious decision that if I ever found myself in such a situation, in spite of the pain, I’d have faith that I’ll find love my own way.

So far, my coming out process has gone rather well- quite contrary to my expectations; I seriously underestimated how much people can and do change. Unlike so many LGBT people at home and in the broader global community, I’ve been quite fortunate to have many wonderful and loving people in my life. I’ve lost some relationships along the way but the ones I’ve gained and the others which have been strengthened were all well worth my choice to come out. Sometimes, I think I did wait too long: it would have been nice to know what full acceptance, love and support feels like earlier in life. At the same time, I believe it would have been wrong to pressure myself into doing something I wasn’t ready to do. My coming out, thus far, was by no means romantic or ideal but that’s what life is like generally. As far as I can see, we waste life unless we live it fully, embracing its lessons and cherishing all the wonderful people you’ll meet, and keep on going forward. I hope the day when coming out is no longer a spectacle will soon come.

Many vaginal infections share the same symptoms, so it’s easy to confuse one with another. As one of the most common, yeast infections can be very deceiving. Check out the symptoms and treatments below, for a quick and easy recovery.

Is this topic for you?

Other problems (like bacterial vaginosis and trichomoniasis) can cause vaginal symptoms that may seem like a yeast infection. If you need help finding out which problem you have, feel free to email me at vforvadge@gmail.com.

What is a vaginal yeast infection?

Yeast is a fungus that normally lives in the vagina in small numbers. A vaginal yeast infection means that too many yeast cells are growing in the vagina . These infections are very common. Although they can bother you a lot, they are not usually serious and treatment is simple.

What causes a vaginal yeast infection?

Most yeast infections are caused by a type of yeast called Candida albicans.

A healthy vagina has many bacteria and a small number of yeast cells. The most common bacteria, Lactobacillus acidophilus, help keep other organisms-like the yeast-under control.

When something happens to change the balance of these organisms, yeast can grow too much and cause symptoms. Taking antibiotics sometimes causes this imbalance. The high estrogen levels caused by pregnancy or hormone replacement therapy can also cause it. So can certain health problems, like diabetes or HIVinfection.

What are the symptoms?

A yeast infection causes itching or soreness in the vagina and sometimes causes pain or burning when you urinate or have sex. Some women also have a thick, clumpy, white discharge that has no odor and looks a little like cottage cheese.

These symptoms are more likely to occur during the week before your menstrual period.

How is a vaginal yeast infection diagnosed?

It?s easy to guess wrong about a vaginal infection. See your doctor if you aren’t sure what you have or if this is the first time you have had these symptoms. Also see your doctor if you are pregnant. Your doctor may want to do a vaginal exam.

How is it treated?

If you have had a yeast infection before and can recognize the symptoms, and you aren’t pregnant, you can treat yourself at home with medicines you can buy without a prescription. You can use an antifungal cream, or a suppository that you put into your vagina, or antifungal tablets that you swallow.

If your symptoms are mild, you may want to wait to see if they clear up on their own.

Yeast infections are common during pregnancy. If you are pregnant, don’t use medicine for a yeast infection without talking to your doctor first.

If you use a cream or suppository to treat the infection, don’t depend on a condomor diaphragm for birth control. The oil in some medicines weakens latex, the material often used to make these devices.

Many women have infections that come back. If you have more than four yeast infections in a year, see your doctor. He or she may do some tests to see if your yeast infections are being caused by another health problem, such as diabetes.

Can vaginal yeast infections be prevented?

If you practice good genital hygiene, you can help prevent infection.

• Keep your vaginal area clean. Use mild, unscented soap and water. Rinse well.
• After using the toilet, wipe from front to back to avoid spreading yeast or bacteria from your anus to the vagina or urinary tract.
• Wear underwear that helps keep your genital area dry and doesn?t hold in warmth and moisture. One good choice is cotton underwear.
• Avoid tight-fitting clothing, such as panty hose, and tight-fitting jeans. These may increase body heat and moisture in your genital area.
• Change out of a wet swimsuit right away. Wearing a wet swimsuit for many hours may keep your genital area warm and moist.
• Change pads or tampons often.
• Don?t douche or use deodorant tampons or feminine sprays, powders, or perfumes. These items can change the normal balance of organisms in your vagina.

Want to keep it fresh down there? Try Healthy Hoo Hoo Natural Feminine Wash Here 

Sources: 

http://shop.vforvadge.com/body-care/hoo1-healthy-hoo-hoo-gentle-feminine-wash

http://women.webmd.com/tc/vaginal-yeast-infections-topic-overview