The V. Club
By Charlie Speex[divider]
It is often a complaint of mine and others that there aren’t enough spaces to speak openly about sex and Sexual Education especially as an adult. As a native New Yorker, I don’t know very many people who received Sex Ed at any point in their schooling. Many of us have stumbled around in the dark instead, trying to figure out anatomy, understanding desire and how to have healthy relationships. For some people in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s, it is a new frontier to know what they want and need sexually and emotionally. If you are anywhere on the wave of figuring this all out, no worries, none of us know what we are doing anyways. But there are some people in the world who are using their passion and curiosity to bring the grown ups into a space to learn and speak openly about their sexual curiosities. And besides, who doesn’t want to be a better partner both sexually and emotionally? It’s a 2 for 1 special.
VforVadge’s Charlie has recently had the pleasure of speaking with Courtney Cleman, one of the founders of The V. Club. The V. Club is the first sex and relationship education center in the U.S. where women, men, and couples can take masterclasses on relationship psychology and sexual physiology in a sophisticated studio space that feels like a place to enjoy afternoon tea. The mission is to empower people with everything they need to know to have a happy love life and give them real-world, practical answers and solutions to relationship problems that they can immediately implement. It’s lucky for New York that The V. Club will be opening its doors in New York’s Chelsea neighborhood this winter. To find out how The V. Club plans to teach us how to be better significant others, read the interview below.
Charlie: “Hey Courtney, thank you so much for sitting down with VforVadge to give us the inside scoop.”
Courtney: “That’s no problem. I’m really excited to be speaking with you.”
Charlie: “Thanks. Before we get into The V. Club, I’d like to know more about you and how you came up with the concept for The V. Club?”
Courtney: “Well, before The V. Club, I was a in the corporate finance world. Although I enjoyed my job, my other passion was in understanding the psychology of intimacy and relationships. I wanted to find a way for people to have more successful relationships. In the past, I worked a job where my purpose was to help men and women create successful careers. I thought that there had to be a way to learn and understand practical intimacy and get the knowledge and tools to have better and lasting relationships. So I teamed up with Kate Lubimova, who is a sexologist and also shares the same passion for passing on knowledge and tools for better sex and relationships.”
Charlie: “Wow, I could definitely use some classes on practical intimacy and lasting relationships. How does The V. Club plan to accomplish that?”
Courtney: “We offer a series of classes for both individuals and couples to learn about anatomy and gain tools to enhance their intimate relationships. The classes we offer are on the female anatomy, the male anatomy, as well as classes on accomplishing the Big O. Most people don’t really know their anatomy which is a basic flaw in our education. Honestly, I believe that these classes should be mandatory in every college. But The V. Club is more like a fitness club where people can learn and get better at relationships and intimacy.”
Charlie: “I have to say, I do wish classes on giving and receiving orgasms should totally be mandatory in college.”
Courtney: “It really is that important. Gaining tools to enjoy intimacy would change a lot of our lives. Especially in recent years, intimacy has been the biggest problem in divorce.”
Charlie: “I didn’t think of it that way. A lot of people think that divorces have a bit more to do with distrust, finances or infidelity but those usually stem from issues with intimacy. So, at what point in their relationship should someone come to The V. Club?”
Courtney: “The V Club is for everyone. Individuals and couples can come to the V Club to learn with other people about intimacy. You can be married, single or dating and be apart of The V Club. Classes are sometimes separated by gender and others by relationship status. Some classes are for singles and others may be for couples. The female anatomy class is offered to men and the male anatomy to women. The Big O classes are for the opposite sex to learn about one another.”
Charlie: “Since we’re on the topic, what is a tip you have for accomplishing The Big O? For men and for women?”
Courtney: “For women, men should know that although clitoral orgasms are fairly easy to accomplish, vaginal orgasms are more intense and last longer and allow for a more comfortable sexual experience. Clitoral orgasms also wear women out faster so vaginal orgasms tend to be better. But always stimulate the clit, it is essential. For men, always go for the shaft. Anything that stimulates the shaft of the penis is going to make him last longer.”
Charlie: “You know, I am certain that the same amount of people that don’t know that the vagina is different from the clitoris and urethra also don’t know that there are different types of orgasms. How easy is it to take one of these classes?”
Courtney: “The classes are usually between 1 and 2 hours at different time to accommodate the busy New Yorker but also classes are very affordable. We want to have people be able to access the information regardless of money. This is unique information that works, and people should have access to it.”
Charlie: “What is the vision for The V. Club in 3 years?”
Courtney: “We want to help as many people as possible. I don’t do this work for the money but moreso for my passion. I’d want to eventually volunteer time to help women who don’t have any funds to take these classes and women who have been incarcerated. “
Charlie: “That’s really powerful. Access to this information is key especially for women and people who can’t always afford to pay for it. What are your top 5 tips for intimacy for men and women?”
Courtney: “My top five tips for intimacy for men and women are, always use lube. One of the top mistakes that people don’t use lube because they think that vaginal wetness is enough for both partners. Even when masturbating, lube is always best. Tips for men would be, unlike popular belief, going “balls deep” should not be the goal. Staying shallow in the vagina is what will allow for the both of you to accomplish the best orgasm and aid in maintaining stamina. Allow for the 20-30 minutes of foreplay before attempting to reach the G spot, don’t rush. Also, communication is key. Communicating your sexual needs is extremely important. Its not usually emphasized in a way that men are communicating what they really enjoy. My tips for women would be that whenever stroking the penis, grip a little bit tighter. Men are not gentle with their penises and that is on purpose. Don’t be afraid to get a good grip. Also, men are all about their senses. Smells, sounds and touch are all best to turn a guy on. When having oral sex, don’t be afraid to make sounds with your mouth. Eye contact is also really important, it’s a form of non-verbal communication and can be an immediate and subtle turn on.
Charlie: “That’s some really great advice. Those tips could make anyone seem like a certified sexpert. Thank you so much for speaking with me today. It was truly a pleasure. I can’t wait to take my first lesson at The V. club.”
Courtney: “That’s a part of the goal, some small changes go a long way. We would be really glad to have you. Thank you for your time as well.”
So – what do you think? What lessons would you like to learn at the V Club?