Gay VS Straight: 4 Ways Gay Men Worry More About Dating
The irony in a gay vs straight debate is that those paying adequate attention will soon realize that the difficulties faced are eerily similar. I personally found this study extremely interesting and insightful – hopefully you will, too.
Using data from over 20,000 singles, elitesingles.com found that gay men are less confident, less secure, more anxious and feel more misunderstood compared with straight men.
Do gay vs straight men really worry more about their love life? Yes, a new study by popular dating website EliteSingles says, but it doesn’t make them any less happy overall. The large-scale data analysis of users’ responses discovered that, across all the indicators, gay men were demonstrably more neurotic than straight men.
– Over 20,000 American men studied in large-scale member data analysis
– Gay men in the US 3.5% less confident than straight men
– Study also shows them 3% less secure, 2% more anxious and 2% more misunderstood
– Level of happiness on par with straight men however
– UK study had similar results (-3% confident, -3% secure, +4.5% anxious, +3% misunderstood)
Gay men lack confidence: In the study, gay singles in the US were on average a staggering 3.5% down on how confident they felt, compared with the sample group of 10,000 heterosexual men.
Gay men feel more insecure: Gay men also averaged 3% lower on the ‘secure’ scale. The same correlation was seen in the UK study.
Gay men are more ‘anxious about the future’: Gay respondents were 2% more likely to describe themselves as ‘anxious about the future’. This pales in comparison to the UK figure however, which stood at a whopping +4.5%.
Gay men feel more misunderstood: Gay singles were also more likely to feel ‘misunderstood’, scoring 2% higher in this area.
Whilst none of the figures are large enough for concern, the study does identify an interesting behavioral pattern. Though it does seem that gay men worry more, the same analysis also took into account how ‘happy’ respondents felt and produced no significant difference between gay and straight men. With a difference less than 1%, this might suggest that worrying about our love life more actually has little impact on our general happiness.
Resident psychologist at EliteSingles, Salama Marine had this to say: “Lack of confidence can come from a difficult former relationship, or even stem from childhood,” before adding “this can be a real problem whilst dating.”
To build more confidence when dating, Marine suggests these practical steps:
1. Make a list of all your qualities and be honest with yourself. Write down everything you have to offer someone in a relationship. For some people, this exercise can be really helpful because they can – literally – see just how valuable they are on the page in front of them.
2. If you feel that it’s not enough to realize this by yourself, why not talk with your friends? Just by asking simple questions like “Why are you my friend?” and “Why do you like to spend time with me?” you can realize your own value in other people’s eyes and learn to believe that you are a good person to know.
3. Fix reasonable objectives. When people want to change, they tend to forget that it needs to be done step by step – it’s important to fix doable objectives to avoid any disappointment. For example, it’s not easy for everyone to just walk up to someone they like in a bar and start talking to them. In this scenario, online dating can be really helpful; it can help you to realize that meeting and dating completely new people is not a big deal – you just need the practice!
So, the next time you see a gay or straight individual on the dating scene, take a moment to realize that they’re probably going through the same life lessons and challenges as you. After all, no one truly wants to be alone – right?
