The 1o Relationship Myths: By Dr. John Demartini

We have all read about happily ever after and other misleading
fantasies in story books. Most people continue to buy into these
childhood ideas, even in adulthood.  However, believing in these
common myths will keep you from fully experiencing the riches that every relationship has to offer.

Here are the top ten relationship myths:

MYTH 1:  A New Relationship Will Make Me Happy

During the initial infatuation phase of a relationship, you see mostly the positive side
of the person.  There is a strong attraction, positive traits and
potential for lasting happiness.  However, that is just a delusion.
Regardless of how well a relationship begins, you will eventually
experience both sides of the person with as many challenges as
support. A relationship will not change this natural experience of human emotions.

MYTH 2:  When I Find My Soul Mate, I Will Feel Complete

Living as if your soul mate will complete you will only lead to heartbreak.  The
illusions that you project onto your soul mate will inevitably fall
apart when they sometimes behave in a manner that is not supporting
you. A soul mate can be one person or several people in your life that
fully compliment you and help you find your own wholeness.

MYTH 3:  The Right Relationship Will Last Forever

For every relationship beginning, there is another one ending.  So the idea of
forever is an unrealistic expectation. A relationship lasts as long as
both people communicate in each others highest values or priorities.

MYTH 4:  Once We Get Past These Rough Waters, It Will Be Smooth Sailing

Relationships are not static and no one remedy will eliminate
all your supposed troubles.  As I mentioned above, life involves a
balance of difficulty and ease; of liberty and constraint.

MYTH 5:  A Good Relationship Requires Sacrifice

Sacrifice tends to breed resentment.  Anytime you do something you do not want to do, or
see no benefit to yourself in doing it, then you will become
resentful.  This may happen immediately, or unconsciously. It is wiser
to master the art of communicating in each others values.

MYTH 6: Great Sex Happens Only at the Beginning of a Relationship

Both lust and intimate lovemaking can continue to grow and evolve
throughout a relationship as long as you understand and disable any
unrealistic expectations that might shut it down.  This includes the myths listed here.

MYTH 7: In the Right Relationship, I Will Not Have to Work at It

Many people hang on to the idea that being with someone should happen naturally.
However, a fulfilling relationship requires concentration,
organisation, effort and skill.

MYTH 8:  If I am Not Involved with Someone I Will Be Lonely

People can feel lonely in a crowded room.  Loneliness is a function of how you
perceive yourself relative to your environment.  You can sleep right
next to someone and yet feel a thousand miles distant or be a thousand
miles distant but feel as if they are close.

MYTH 9: Children Complete a Marriage

Children are unlikely to complete a union just as romantic partners

are unlikely to complete each other.

MYTH 10:  Opposites Attract

There is no true opposite only an apparent opposite.  Every human has
the same potential for love, anger, greatness, hope, despair etc.
What you see in a romantic partner is also present in you.  It is just
expressed in a different way.

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