I realize how taboo sex is. No one wants to talk about it, but everyone is whispering about something new. If no one had sex, the world wouldn’t be overpopulated. Japan mandates smiley faces and animals on their sex toys, because they wish to be “modest” with their sexuality. Ironic, isn’t it? My goal for this year is to teach everyone about self-love. If you can’t please yourself – who will?

Let’s start with the basics.

Look In The Mirror

Take off your clothes. What do YOU see? Do you like it? Love it? Hate it?

Forget the things you don’t like – I want you to grab a pen and paper (yes, right now) and scribble down four things you like about your body.

I like my skin tone, I love the curve of my backside, the way my eyes squint when I smile – and my small feet.

What my partner thinks about my body is secondary to the way I feel. He will interact with me based on the vibe I give off.

While transitioning out of my post-baby body, I was a little unsure of how he perceived me – so I worked on how I saw myself.

I started off walking around the house fully clothed, then without pants or with pants and no shirt. Now – I barely keep my clothes on.

He loves it. Of course I asked him how he felt about my body, but his responses were simply motivation.

I realized that my body was mine alone, I have to live in this skin – I must take this temple and enjoy it.

Once you learn that – everything else falls into place. Weight loss, weight gain, fitness, health – all of it is based on how much you value yourself.

Do Something Nice For You

Sometimes, waiting on your significant other to do it is like waiting on Haley’s Comet.

Whether you’re single or not, treating yourself to something nice is a great pick-me-up for those “bleh” days.

Get a pedicure. If this isn’t a pay week, consider buying the polish, remover and grooming kit to do it yourself.

When you take off your socks to get in your bed (or anyone else’s), it’s such a sexy feeling to have soft feet gliding under the covers.

Maybe buy some new music. Lianne LaHavas or Lana DelRey make the perfect music to vibe to.

A huge part of appreciating what people do for you, is realizing that you can do it yourself.

Go get a massage, or buy a nice back massager. Treat yourself to a nice lunch. Take a quiet walk on a sunny day.

Whatever it is, do it for you.

Masturbate

You knew it was coming (pun intended).

Vibrators were invented in the 19th Century as a cure for “hysteria.”

It sounds funny, but doctors were on to something.

“Until the 20th century, American and European men—including physicians—believed that women did not experience sexual desire or pleasure. They believed that women were simply fleshy receptacles for male lust and that intercourse culminating in male ejaculation fulfilled women’s erotic needs. Women were socialized to believe that “ladies” had no sex drive, and that duty required them to put up with sex in order to keep their husbands happy and have children.”

Basically, we were not expected to have sex for our own enjoyment. In this day and age, however, we are empowered to do quite the opposite.

There is nothing wrong with doing it yourself.

Try using your fingers and a drop of lube. Ready for the next step? A simple bullet vibrator will do the trick.

Running water in the bathtub works too (I’ll teach you how to do that another time).

The point is – learning how to please yourself guarantees your empowerment.

When you know what you want in the bedroom, you can get what you want anywhere.

The office, with your friends, on vacation – anywhere.

Sex appeal truly starts from within.

To start a movement – it only takes one. Is it you?

Resources: 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201303/hysteria-and-the-strange-history-vibrators

http://shop.vforvadge.com