Sex Education for the Real World…


How Many Is Too Many Men to Sleep With?

Posted January 15, 2015 by Kimani in Love. Life. Erotica.

Body Count: How Many Men is too Many to Sleep with?


As women we are often taught that our sexuality is something we lose. You lose your virginity; you lose your innocence and your purity. A woman’s sexuality and sexual behavior is often a taboo topic, however, I am a firm believer that your sexuality is not something you lose, but something you gain by owning it. Owning that you are a sexual-being and recognizing as well as accepting that you deserve to enjoy sex; as much as any man or anyone else in the world.


Now, lets talk about this magical number. In the pursuit of finding love or becoming comfortable in your own sexuality there will be some casualties.

So, how many men are too many?


My answer to this question is another question; how many men is too many men in your opinion?! The number of men you sleep with and being comfortable with that number is all a part of the process of owning your sexuality. So, before we go further into this discussion, let me first tell you that your number is nobody’s business. That is a number you can keep all to yourself. Some may say if you are truly comfortable with your sexuality you should not mind sharing your body count; however, your body count is like your salary. It is no one’s business how much you make if they are not paying your bills. It is no one’s business how many men you sleep or have slept with unless you are having sex with them. Even then, it is on a need to know bases.


So, while I can say there is no limit for how many men you can sleep with; I think it is important to look at the time frame you are sleeping with people and the reasons behind you sleeping with them. If you are sleeping with ten different men within a few weeks, I recommend that you take a moment and ask yourself, “What am I looking for by sleeping with so many different men? Is my quest for sexual pleasure interfering with other areas of my life?” Lets get real. We all only have 24 hours in a day. So, there is a line between keeping your feet wet and addiction.


Now, lets talk about the reasons behind you sleeping with someone. Many people will try to say that women are too emotional and cannot separate sex from the emotional aspects of the encounter. Now, I do not believe this to be true for every woman. Some women are very emotional, but others are not. However, if you are one of those emotional women looking for the one and are sleeping with everyone you meet, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.


“Good sex” and “good p*ssy” will not keep a man! Read that line again. If you are trying to keep a man by putting it down – sex alone will not keep him. I have asked around to various men and they all agree, no it will not keep them in a relationship. They may return to have sex with you, but it will not make them want to be in a relationship with you; nor will it keep them in a relationship with you. Loneliness is not a state of being with someone else, instead it is a state of mind. You can be lonely in the wrong relationship. So before you go to bed with someone new ask yourself, “Why am I doing this? What am I expecting to gain from this experience?” and is whatever you are expecting, something you can gain by yourself?


The reasons behind why you are having sex with a person, I think is very important. It is especially important for women, who have survived sexual abuse or violence in the past. If you have been sexually abused, sexually assaulted and/or sexually mistreated, as an adult or young child, your views of sex and your sexuality has been violated and distorted by another person. It is highly recommended that you talk to a professional about these experiences; so you can work on how those experiences impact your life. It is not your fault and you are a survivor.


Overall, it is important to keep in mind that with every sexual encounter you put yourself at risk for a sexually transmitted disease. In fact, every time you sleep with someone you are also sleeping with everybody they had sex with. So it is vital that you use condoms and good judgment.




E.B. Davis is a Licensed Social Worker and the founder of Cupid’s Planner. She provides relationship and intimacy coaching for the empowerment and sexual freedom of women. E.B. Davis wants to help every woman tap into their inner Goddess so they too can have Hassle Free Romance. Do you have a relationship question? Contact us at You can also connect with us on social media.

About the Author


A NY transplant in Florida, Kimani has taken on the task of educating the world on sexual health and education. The Mount Vernon native has seen AIDS and HIV spread through her community like wildfire, and hopes to cease the transmission of these and other diseases one person at a time. If you know better, you're inclined to do better.

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