As the holiday season continues, many singles are on the dating rebound from a failed relationship. So – how long should you wait until looking for your next Mr./Mrs. Right? Read on, my friend…

How Much Time Should You Take Between Relationships – By E.B. Davis

“You need half the time you were in a relationship to bounce back from a relationship” – unknown

If this is true then if you were in a 10-year relationship, that means you would need 5 years to get over that relationship.  Wow, 5 years that could be a long time or too short of time to bounce back from a relationship, depending on who you ask.  At any rate, there is no real timeframe for how long a woman should take between relationships.  More importantly, there is no set timeframe for how long it will take you to get over a relationship.  Every relationship is unique and each person in the relationship is a unique individual.

With this in mind, it is important not to focus on the amount of time between relationships; yet, the quality of time between relationships.  After breaking-up it is normal for women to feel a little lost and a little uneasy about taking the journey of life alone.  However, being alone does not equal loneliness!  In fact, there is something to say about a person, who truly enjoys the company of their self.

I see women who go from one relationship to another.  You see them one day and the next day they have someone new.  They are living with each other and playing house.  Sometimes they even take it to the next level and get married and have children.  However, if you find yourself bouncing from one relationship to another, I suggest that you stop and ask yourself, “What is it that I am looking for? What am I hoping to get from this relationship? What is the purpose of me entering this relationship?”

A relationship cannot make you whole and it will not complete you.  A relationship can only bring out the best or the worst of the two people, who are in it.  It cannot magically change people.  More importantly, if you are doing more breaking up then being in a relationship I think you need to take a step back and look at the equation.  You are the only common denominator in each relationship.  So maybe these on and off again relationships are telling you something, which is you need to work on yourself.

Working on yourself means that you are gaining awareness, understanding and love for yourself, which is not dependent on you having a man in your life.  I suggest that you take time after every relationship to think about the lessons learned from the relationship, the mistakes you made in the relationship, what worked well in the relationship, and how you are going to utilize the lessons from your last relationship to make a better relationship with someone new.  This reflection process will not happen over night; instead it will require you to be honest with yourself about the nature of the events, which unfolded, and your role in those events.  It is hoped by taking the time to reflect that you become aware of your own issues.  So you will not unknowingly bring baggage into your new relationship.

Read “2014 – The Year of Self-Love”

The only way you are going to be able to figure out what you truly want from a relationship is by dating and not entering back into a serious relationship.  So date and explore life on your own.  Take a class, check something off your bucket list, spend time with your friends and family or even make new friends.  Men like women, who are individuals but at the same time can be in a relationship.  Get to know yourself, so that you are more than just a woman in a relationship.

On another note, I think it is important for women to examine, especially those who have children, the type of relationships they are entering into just to have someone around.  Relationships are often taken lightly in this modern age; however, people are not replaceable, just the roles they held in your life are replaceable.  So be mindful of the people and the types of relationships you are getting involved in, because children learn from their parents.  Taking a timeout to leave a position open is not a failure.  In fact, a timeout can show you how to better fill that position in the future.

About the Author

E.B. Davis is a Licensed Social Worker and the founder of Cupid’s Planner.  She provides relationship and intimacy coaching for the empowerment and sexual freedom of women.  E.B. Davis wants to help every woman tap into their inner Goddess so they too can have Hassle Free Romance.

Do you have a relationship question?

Contact E.B.: cupid@cupidsplanner.com.