Sex Education for the Real World…

 


Get Out: How Black Stereotypes May Ruin Your Sex Life

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Posted March 8, 2017 by Kimani in Love. Life. Erotica.
Get Out

Get Out: How Black Stereotypes May Ruin Your Sex Life

If you’re like many of us who have watched Jordan Peele‘s polarizing (pun intended) film “Get Out,” you noticed quite a few symbolic references to Black life. As a Black Sexpert, I couldn’t help but see things from an intimacy point of view. I’ll be discussing my takeaways each day this week.

 

Get Out Movie

“Size Does Matter” Thinking Was Perpetuated by Slavery:

Sure, every culture has their version of a “pissing contest,” but few cultures can provide historical evidence of being generationally objectified and hyper-sexualized. In “Get Out”, the main character Chris, (played by Daniel Kaluuya) was assumed to be genetically predisposed to physical fortitude because he is Black. Furthermore, he is objectified by older, White women (and others) and one even asks “is it true?” The question alluded to an age-old stereotype that Black men come with larger phallic equipment than their non-Black counterparts. Large penis size is then attributed to sexual performance.

The problem is, generational stereotypes can (and often are) insidious in their ability to push past the reality we know and rest directly under our innermost insecurities. This leads us (yes, women get it, too) to be uncertain of our actual capabilities as well as our worth as intimate partners and humans if we don’t live up to these predisposed expectations.

If you’ve spent your whole life thinking a bigger penis is necessary to please your partner, you may feel dejected and thus unable to reach your actual (and adequate) potential. This goes for women and body ratios as well (i.e. the big butt phenomena).

Get Out

{insert horror orgasm face}

Throughout slavery times, the Black male was objectified in every facet of the word. Used for their physical strength, they were sized like farm cattle and sold in similar fashion.  To add insult to injury, many of them were used as sex slaves for heterosexual and homosexual slave owners. Prize fighting further reduced the Black male slaves’  worth down to fighting for one’s life, often while scantily clad or naked. I don’t have to explain how sexual that is in nature. In the non fiction memoir ” When I Was A Slave,”  former slave John Finnely recalls witnessing slave fights on the Alabama plantation where he was held captive until his freedom.

As many of us who have had more than one sexual partner can attest to, size is not necessarily relevant to sexual prowess or performance. Size doesn’t equal skill, nor does it guarantee any specific level of intimacy. Black men have been praised for their sexual prowess and physical aptitude while simultaneously being vilified for those same traits. Ultimately, this stigma has created a paradox where men do not know whether to exhibit their virility for all to see or keep it intimate and be seen as lesser than.

 

The Message:

Self-reflection is super crucial to maintaining inner-esteem when you get woke. It’s so easy to fall into the “sunken space” and feel like you’re not enough. Once you focus on quality relationships and individualized pleasure for your partner(s), you are able to recognize the quality of your work and your abilities.

 

The next time someone asks you if “it’s true,” you can stand there like Captain Morgan and say “wouldn’t you like to find out?”

 

Resources:

Geek Tyrant

Attn

Goodreads

Amazon




About the Author

Kimani

A NY transplant in Florida, Kimani has taken on the task of educating the world on sexual health and education. The Mount Vernon native has seen AIDS and HIV spread through her community like wildfire, and hopes to cease the transmission of these and other diseases one person at a time. If you know better, you're inclined to do better.

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